Drill N Hammer

Sitting here

2010-05-25T16:53:00.000-07:00

I’m sitting here at Wendy’s having some Chili and Asian Style Buffalo Wings. I have had a cold for the last week, and am back at work, but not ready to get back to the gym.

I forgot to put a book in the car, so I’m sitting here looking at the back of the little placemat they put in your food tray. On the back they suggest that you have Family game night, and then they give you a few ideas, and that’s all fine, but I have no kids, so the games they suggest, we are not going to be playing, maybe when we get really older.

Also, on the back of this placemat, there is this silly game where they have this drawing, which has a thousand little drawing of animals, electrical tools, car planes, and whatever all jumbled up, upside down and sideways, and you are supposed to have a competition to see how can find the most of whatever they suggest that you find.

So I am sitting there by myself looking at this thing. Category “Things you can eat” so I see a picture of a cow, I think to myself, well I suppose you can eat a cow, but I don’t think of a cow as something you can eat, well not until after you butcher it, process it and all that stuff, so no, a cow is not something you eat.

Next up… a picture of a baby bottle, well you eat what in a baby bottle, but you don’t eat baby bottles, well okay I know technically it’s a drink, but I think they mean eat or drink.
So that one is a no, no eating of baby bottles, next up, a picture of a tomato, that one is a definite yes. I eat tomatoes.

Peaches, yes, oranges, yes, apples, yes, electric drills, no, fishbowls, no, tennis rackets no.

Next up, Salt and Pepper shakers, well one uses Salt and pepper to season your food, but one does not eat salt and Peppers shakers, so that’s a no.

Anyway that’s my day.

Happy Valentine's Day

2010-02-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

I clearly remember my first Valentine's Day. I was in first grade. A few days before, my mom asked how many kids were in my class, and we went to a store and bought large packages of valentines -- one for every child in the class. The cards were all the same size and said, basically, the same thing.

When I arrived at school, each classmate had a small box on his or her desk. At some point during the day, I went around the room and gave each child a valentine. There was one for the quiet one in the back, the most popular girl in class, the prettiest and even the boys. This was long before society taught me that such a show of affection had to exclude people of the same gender as me. By the end of the day, everyone had a full box of valentines to take home.

One desk, one box ... the love of a child.

As I grew older, society taught me to narrow my offering of affection, picking only those I chose to be special or worthy. Eventually, I was taught to limit my valentines to only one person. More time went on, and then a card was not enough. To show that really special person what she meant to you, you needed to send flowers, candy and jewelry.

Apparently, as we grew older it took more and more to fill those boxes. Now we absolutely could not give to more than one person. People hire detectives to make sure that the person isn't filling anyone else's. And if you had no one to send you anything, you were saddened by your big, empty box filled only with sadness and despair.

Today, I am taking back from society what it has taken from me. I'm counting how many people play a role in my life, and I am buying "virtual" packages of cards. I have one for every single one of you -- man or woman, young or old, straight or gay, married or single. Each card is the same size, they all say the same thing -- that I appreciate who you are and what you have to contribute to each other.

I invite each and every one to do the same, so that no box is empty and the shy ones, the pretty ones, the popular ones and those who are less so go home tonight with a full box of valentines.

One virtual desk, one virtual box, and the love of a child at heart. I wish you all a happy Valentine's Day. -

Good Morning

2009-12-29T11:17:00.001-08:00

Been awhile since I have been here, sometimes I just don’t feel like posting, it seems that my life is too boring or I don’t want to think about what is happening in my life…

I haven’t been painting… I haven’t started any new artwork… of any type. I keep thinking about writing a book, but sometimes I feel like that is a random thought that is popping up in my head because I haven’t found a new writer that I want to read.

What I would want to find in a new writer is a Fantasy writer, where the main character is gay, and they go on fantastic journeys, and do amazing things. Now I can think up the fantastic things and the amazing things that they see, but I cant think of a reason for them to leave the comfort of their own bed… sort of like how I feel in the morning… sometimes the only reason I get out of my own warm bed is to go to work…

Hmm that gives me an idea… LOL

Anyway, it is time to get ready for the New Year again, back top the gym fulltime, I think that I am hesitant to get back to the gym because I’m on the cusp of the buff body for the first time, I am down to a size 31 waist, and I’m start to get some definition in my upper body, my arms are finally getting bigger, time to get back on the bike and start training again…

I really think that missing the ride last year depressed me

Gratitude

2009-12-01T12:58:00.001-08:00

Many times in order to feel grateful, you must practice it, this is the act of looking around at your life and being grateful for what you have, even when it does not seem that what you have, fulfills your need for you want.

During the month of December, when we all are concerned about buying things, wishing we had more money to buy things for the people we love, and oftentimes we end up resenting the work that we put into that, I’m going to practice gratitude, and see how my attitude can change from the beginning of the month to the end.

~

I am thankful that I have a job. It isn’t the best job, but I get a paycheck every week, and I know that paycheck is good when I deposit it.

I don’t often feel like, that I have a job that challenges me in a way, that causes me to use my brains, but I’m grateful that it is not a high stress job that constantly calls me to answer the phone, listen to vendors complain about past due bills and worry about how we are going to meet payroll.

Keep Track of your stocks

2009-09-30T12:07:00.000-07:00

not a lot going on

2009-09-28T10:05:00.001-07:00

Its a quiet time for me. not really depressed, just taking stock seeing where I’m at, and if I want to do anything about it.

I haven’t felt like posting lately, not enough going wrong that I feel it is that important to talk about.

but in reality, I never feel that much about talking about my life.

It is easy to see in the eyes of my boss, that he is not really interested in hearing what is happening in anyone else’s life, and that is what turns me off about talking about my life.

It is easy to see that most people aren’t really interested in hearing about your life, because they want to tell you about their life.

Which is a funny thing about blogs, in blogs people take the time to read about your life, and give you encouragement, but in real life it doesn’t happen so much.

Or maybe it doesn’t happen so much to me, because everyone thinks what a great life I have.

And in reality, I must admit that my life is great, sure I don’t have everything I want, but I do have everything I need.

and for that I must be grateful.

"Heyyyy, Like 'Arf-Arf,' Man"

2009-07-13T08:15:00.000-07:00

Nestor Waddell had to rush his 11-year-old Labrador mix, Jack, to the vet in May when he started acting strange during a walk, which had taken him into some bushes. The vet concluded that Jack had discovered and devoured some dry, harvested marijuana. According to Waddell, "(Jack's) eyes were kind of glossed over. ... When he was trying to walk, he was looking at his paw, and then looking at the ground and then trying to get his paw to reach the ground, but was unsuccessful." [KING-TV (Seattle), 6-10-09]

Body

2009-07-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

This from Frank in Australia.

"I am a very fit guy who swims and works out, eats well. The stuff I am supposed to do. I have lower back pain and am not sure how to strengthen that area.
I have tried excercises from the mens mags but most of them hurt too much for me to do. I do ab work, but I know I have to do more than that.
Can you help?"

Frank, Australia.

Hi Frank

Now with regards to the lower back pain... Assuming it is a muscular weakness you have there are definitely ways you can strengthen this area. Below are a couple of exercises you can try. The feeling should be that of muscle fatigue. In exercise #1 more in the lumbar or lower back region, and in exercise #2 more in the abdomen. If the pain persists I would recommend getting an assessment by the likes of a physiotherapist.

Good luck.

Exercise #1 Lying Corba

Lying on stomach lift torso, retract shoulders, keep toes on ground
Hold for 10 secs lower and rest for 10secs. Repeat 3-8x, 1-2x Daily

Exercise #2 Lying Leg Lowers

Lying on back. Knees bent @ 90 degrees, Hands up or by sides, Beginner-lower one leg maintaining arch though lower back (not hyperextending) Bring leg back in 10 reps each side, slow tempo. Advanced-same as above with both legs

Regards

Nathan Martin
Les Mills Body trainer

hmm

2009-06-30T09:17:00.000-07:00

Not Crab Cakes

2009-06-30T09:11:00.000-07:00

I have been trying to learn to make crab cakes, but it is too damn expensive to practice with crab, so substitute tuna with this recipe and it will come out just fine, just make sure you use Panko style bread crumbs as listed, so that they will be dry enough, also turn down the heat on the oil once you drop the cakes in the oil.

Dog Pack Attacks Gator In Florida

2009-06-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

At times nature can be cruel, but there is also a raw beauty, and even a certain justice manifested within that cruelty.

The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators, normally considered the "apex predator", can still fall victim to implemented 'team work' strategy, made possible due to the tight knit social structure and "survival of the pack mentality" bred into the canines.

See the remarkable photograph below courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the Alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator preventing it from breathing.

Another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing.

The third dog attacks the soft underbelly of the gator.

.

.

Not for the squeamish

.

.

Day by Day

2009-06-17T13:48:00.001-07:00

I've been sick, Allergies and a Cold... And once again I'm dealing with stuff left over from the bookstore, and that always depresses me.

But there is light at the end of the tunnel, it seems that in order to make the tax lien go away (better than paying for another 10 years, and it is not a trust tax), but to make that go away, I need to declare Bankruptcy, which is another thing that depresses me.

That is the best choice of the choices I can make.

Life is actually good, we have moved and are settled in a new house, and the rent is cheaper than the old place.

We are in town, but in a place called Hidden Valley which is just that, a valley that is hidden in the middle of town, the Agilent Technologies Site across the street (back entrance) uses sheep to keep their hillside weeds under control, and it is wonderful to hear them. There is also wild turkeys in the area. No neighbors have dogs that live in the area full time, so only when the grand-kids visit next door do we hear any barking dogs. At night, it is so quiet that you can hear the crickets chirp.

In this little valley, there is a couple of farms and vineyards that you really can't see if you are driving fast, but if you slow down you can see them, and it is way cool.

We have gardens all the way around the house, and no neighbor looks down upon our yard, so we can go out naked in the back

The landscaping is on well water and timers, and the landlady pays a gardener to come once a month and weed and trim. we Just have to water our potted plants, and keep our fountains full, we have four of them.

The inside of the house is both smaller and larger than our old place, only 1 bathroom, and the living room, dining area and kitchen are smaller, but the bedrooms are bigger, and we now have a TV room, and a room which is general storage, Art studio, and pantry.

Miss Vickie continues to get better, and Cowboy is visiting her 3 times a week, instead of 4.

She is getting more comfortable with Cowboy handling her finances, which is good, because sometimes she doesn't pay her bills, then she pays the same bill 3 times. So Cowboy getting that all up to date, and taking care of it will make things easier on her, we are going to tackle her taxes next.

later

Nothing new here

2009-06-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah, yeah yeah, I know, nothing new to post, well thats just where I am right now. to tell you the truth I've been busy...

My partner's mom/dear friend, (not really his mom, but she is sort of adopted, he has known her for 30 years, and is his first partners mom, he died of Aids), she was in car accident three weeks ago, and he has been there every other day to take care of doctors, lawyers, and her other business, so he has been busy, I go with him on the weekends.

She is in rehap now, and is healing faster that the doctor expected, so that is all good, but it is stress full on Cowboy.

We are getting settled in our new house, but that also takes work, and I am dealing with other personal issues that I want to put behind me soon, and be done with (The Bookstore still), who knew that I would be dealing with stuff 7 years after going out of business.

I started a new painting to get back into my art, I have a easel setup now, and am no longer painting in the bathroom, the new painting is a landscape, it is different for me, I am happy with it so far.

When I get a few minutes I also play small worlds on the Facebook account, kinda stupid, but I like it (and it doesn't cost)

I'm a Twit

2009-06-08T18:31:00.000-07:00

you can follow me at JackHampster

Marriage

2009-05-28T16:06:00.001-07:00

Rainy Days

2009-05-06T11:43:00.000-07:00

JON PON RIDE CONTINUED

So my Sweep Duties started in Petaluma, and I had to wait until the last rider came in and had lunch, by the time we got on the road, most of the heavy downpour had tapered off to a drizzle.

Marjorie, is a first time rider, 63 years old, and had not been on a bike for some time. She was a moderate cadence rider, and she used her front set of sprockets rather well. (When I sweep, I like to look at how people use their gears, and point out any helpful hints if I can to make them a faster rider). But she was not using the the complete portion of her back sprockets , so when we got to a place where we could stop, I pointed that out to her.

I told her that at this point is was better to use more of the middle ring on her front and to use more of the complete ring in the back. I had her try it out, and she said that it was much easier than before, I also pointed out that we were now going faster. She also felt more comfortable to try using more of the entire range of gears.

This is exactly what I like about Training rides, helping someone to get better and make it easier at what they have committed to do.

Rained Out

2009-05-04T09:02:00.000-07:00

So this weekend, I went on the Jonathan Pon 2 day Ride.

I called My friend Beau who is in charge of the ride and asked if it was going to be canceled because I heard it was going to rain. He assured me that it was just going to rain a little bit, just while we were riding and maybe some during the night while we were safely in our tents. I assured him that I would be there on time, with my tent (it sleeps six), ready to go.

So off to my house to pack, did I mention that I have been moving? Well I have not moved the bike or the tent yet, so I had to go to the condo to get those, and the Internet, cable and Telephone were being installed that night as well.

"That Night" you said, in as at nighttime after dinner? Well, it was day three of Telephone Installation.

Tuesday, for which I took off from work to be there, they lost our order, no they didn't lose our order, it wasn't released to the technicians. So they reschedule us for Thursday instead, same time slot, 12-2 pm. They then showed up at 3:30, did something up the street for an hour, then cam e back to the house and said we had no signal, and then left.

Friday they came back at 4:30, and the poor man had to install all the wires, etc in the rain. he was there until 11:20, his wife brought him something to eat, and Cowboy went out and grabbed us stuff to eat from Safeway.

I was trying to pack, and pay attention to the Technician, I forgot somethings like a jacket for wearing at the campsite, and I should have packed everything in a plastic baggie.

So I popped out of bed at 4:30 ate something then left for the city, I had to go back to the condo, because I could not find my tire irons, yes there are somewhere in the house, but I had taken them off the bike, I put them in a small contain that I take on ride with me, but I forgot where I put that. and You cannot go on a ride without tire irons.

I arrived in the City, about 20 minutes late, but it was in plenty of time because we allow ourselves 45 minutes to chat, check out bikes over, do a safety meeting, eat etc.

Well, it was drizzly on the way down but it was not raining when I got to Mill Valley.

So we were off, and well to make a long story short, it rained, not that hard but constantly. The worst part was right after lunch, but thankfully I had Sweep duties from Petaluma to Vally Ford, and I was waiting under an awning for the riders to come in eat their lunch, and for us to head out again. It had calmed down to a slight drizzle, when it was time for us to ride out again.

More later

Digital Tour of Karnak

2009-04-24T12:02:00.000-07:00

Tour the Famed Temple of Karnak

http://dlib.etc.ucla.edu/projects/Karnak

The New House

2009-04-15T09:17:00.001-07:00

hmm

2009-03-29T10:50:00.001-07:00

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself,'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
- Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal

Life - Death

2009-03-27T10:12:00.001-07:00

John Hefferlin, DD.

To all thinking people there comes a time of deep questioning, when they ask themselves. “What is life?” and ‘What is death?” Before these questions can be answered satisfactorily, however, the most basic question of all arises: “What is God?” To this, no man can possibly give a complete answer.

We have progressed so far beyond the old anthropomorphic concept of a god with human attributes and characteristics, that many people who formerly considered themselves to be atheists or agnostics are now accepting the more modem and scientific approach to God as Infinite Mind, infinite Intelligence. Infinite Energy and Substance. Infinite Wisdom and Love. The magnitude of God is so tremendous as to be beyond the scope c f man’s imagination’ God is so vast, so enormous. Everything which exists or ever did exist or ever will exist is within Go,. from the most inconceivably tiny particle to the outermost galaxies within the infinity of space. I cannot possibly tell you what God is, but if you will allow me, I can share with you what God means to me

Try, if you will, to imagine the most beautiful and perfect tiny baby you’ve ever seen— only a few days before birth, still in the womb. Imagine that you can communicate with this little one and you ask the question: ‘What is your world like?” Listen carefully and you hear: ‘My world is a wonderful world. Here I am snug, cozy, and warm. I’m surrounded with love and my every need is provided for, even before the need exists I hope I can stay here forever.”

Now you ask another question: “Where is your mother? What does she look like?” You can almost imagine the little facial expression changing to one of quandary. Listen again and you hear: “My mother? I don’t know what you’re talking about. What is a mother? Do I have one?” You smile to yourself as you realize this little one cannot possibly know anything about her mother until long after she’s born and she learns of the parent-child relationship. And yet, she will never be any closer to her mother than she Is right now, since she lives, moves, and has her being within her own mother.

This is very much like my concept of God. We live, move and have our being in God; yet we know very little more about God man does the unborn baby know about its own mother.

Then, although living in a world of comparative darkness, where the horizon is limited to the smooth moist walls and surfaces of the womb, the unborn baby is suddenly filled with but one extremely urgent and miraculous desire: to reach out for broader horizons. Thus, the time for birth arrives and the child is born.

Where does the baby go when it’s born? It doesn’t go anywhere, since it is already here. And yet a whole new universe has come into being, where the horizon is ever- expanding. What is birth? Beyond the biological and physical experience of being ejected from the womb, birth is actually the transition of consciousness as the baby passes from its seemingly one-dimensional world in the womb, out into this world of three dimensions.

Following birth, this little one grows through infancy, childhood, adolescence, and finally reaches maturity, taking its place in the world of adults. Then, eventually, death occurs; it may be the result of accident, illness, or old age, but death does come.

It is now that we face two of the most significant questions in our entire existence.

“What is life?” Life is the manifestation of the vital forces of God, individualized in man as an individual entity, because God is All-in-All. We live, move and have our being in God. That which we are is some part of God, individualized in us as us. We live, therefore, that God may be more adequately and abundantly expressed.

“What is death?” Death is the passing beyond this three-dimensional world into other worlds of varying dimensions—into an ever-expanding Universe with ever-broadening horizons. We die, but we live! Life, as we know it in this three-dimensional world, will continue just so long as the body retains sufficient channels through which the vital energy of God can flow. When enough of these channels cease to function, the body dies. It is like discarding old clothes. In I Corinthians 15:40, the Bible says: “There are celestial bodies and bodies terrestrial: but the glory of the celestial is one, and the glory of the terrestrial is another.”

What happens when the individual passes through death? Where does one go? Just as the unborn baby must pass through the process of birth so that Life shall continue, the individual passes through death for exactly the same reason, to experience greater life! Where do we go when we die? We don’t go anywhere since we’re already there. Like the process of birth, when the baby passes from its “one-dimensional” world within the womb and moves out into this world of three dimensions, death is the passing from this three-dimensional world into that world of many more dimensions. Our consciousness continues to expand in direct relation to the ever-expanding Universe, with its ever- broadening horizons, as it unfolds before us.

Just as the unborn baby cannot possibly perceive that its world is part of and within the three-dimensional world, we apparently cannot and do not perceive that our world is part of, and also within, other worlds of innumerable dimensions beyond this one.

a moment of silence

2009-03-25T12:31:00.001-07:00

Cowboy's step-sister passed away last night.

and after we got the call, the world seem to stop. Not that we were shocked, for it was expected, she had stage 4 ovarian cancer.

but there seemed to be a silence that was going on, we were just watching TV, but Cowboy seemed lost in thought while he was watching TV, he didn't laugh in the usual places.

He wasn't close, and he feels no need to go over there, I think there is a reluctance to go over there, because even in the easy times, that part of the family finds enough drama in the most mundane things, such as... "isn't this best pie you have ever eaten, I can't tell you the recipe because it is secret, but isn't this the best pie, I'm such a good cook, don't you think so?"

You watch TV and you see that after someones dies, the whole town drops by and is supportive. but that isn't real life, is it?

Death, whether you are directly effected or not brings up such issues, when you hear about it. What to say or do, how to go about it, sometimes issues that relate to our own experiences with death, or even issues about our own fears.

What might be considered weird, is that Cowboy is taking a class, and this week the project was to write your own eulogy.

So Monday night, Cowboy dressed up like he was going to a memorial, went to class and read his self-written eulogy to his class, it got me thinking, what would I want written about myself when my time is done?

its a little bit strange

2009-03-20T13:47:00.000-07:00

My life, that is...

and what is going on in it and around it.

Long complicated stories that revolve around taxes and what is meant by all the various tax laws, and how they are to be interpreted. I have spent so much time at the library researching tax law that I almost feel like I should try to pass the bar.
~

Cowboy's step-sister has stage 4 ovarian cancer, and is not expected to last more than two weeks, he was never close to her, but her illness and expected death affects his dad, with whom he is very close.

It is also keeping the rest of the family busy, and Cowboy has been asked to make the arrangements at our church, for a service - our church is the same church that his step sister attends.

I feel like some how we should be more involved, but at the same time, life is dramatic enough without borrowing more. There other complicated issues that revolve around that part of the family that makes it more dramatic than it needs to be. This drama happens when ever that side of the family gets together and really has nothing to do with the events, but the events are making the drama harder to take. So he is attempting to be there for the concrete needs without having to go through the other drama.
~

Today Cowboy & I celebrate our seven year anniversary, we chose this date, the date of our second date, because I broke my leg roller-blading, and though Cowboy expected to finally get some, what he ended up with instead was an invalid in his living room chair for four days before I was strong enough to drive home.

So since we had the receipts of that day (from him going to buy crutches) we were able to pinpoint this day.

My life would be very different if Cowboy had not come into my life. and when anyone starts to complain about being alone, and that they cant find anyone to love, I ask them, "Have you opened yourself up to love, and let someone in your life, do you have too many expectations about what they should look like or what job they need to have?"

Sure we have differences of opinions, but we really try to own that our individual issues are our issues and to not take it out on the other person, either in drama or silence.

One of the things that I love about Cowboy is his laugh, it warms my heart when I hear him laughing even if I have no idea what he is laughing about.

me legs are a little bit tired

2009-03-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

I went for a 45 mile bike ride on the Mountain Bike, only 3,ooo feet of climbing, I know for you hard core bikers that ain't much at all. But I was on a mountain bike, and you were probably on your climbing road bike.

By the time I was done, I sure was wishing that I had rode it instead.

But I decided that I need to give myself a work out, so I rode the Mountain bike, it was tough and rough, and maybe I think I need to do it more often, ride the Mtn bike that is. That way I can do short little rides, and still get in the workout on my legs that I need.

Where did we go you ask? Well we rode from Sebastapol to Occidental then over Coleman Valley Rode to the Coast, then north, turning east at highway 116, to Ride into Duncan mills for lunch, boy was I hungry... What no tuna fish, well okay Turkey & cheese then.

Then we rode back up the road from Duncan Mills to Occidental

45 miles - it took all day - well to 5pm

upsetting me

2009-03-03T12:08:00.000-08:00

so these days we have universal access to the internet and everyone feels free to comment on everything.

so everyone does... which gives you...

people who don't "read", who don't try to understand a different point of view, people who just making comments, comments that don't really address the issue, it becomes mostly just a place for haters of all types to spew their garbage...

and some of it is real garbage...

of course the real damage is what it does to your own mental state of mind. you start to believe that everyone hates you.

and along the way, people forget the real facts, people forget that most people are just one accident away from being out on the streets, they think that because they have a job, and they have health insurance, that they are covered.

my boss thinks that he is safe, but he forgets that he drives a company truck, and that the insurance, gas, and the truck are all company paid, and if the company went away so would those things.

yes maybe his house is paid for, but if he had no company insurance, just one heart attack, the house would be gone.

it sort of makes me laugh, but it makes me cry at the same time, when people talk about, how it is "class warfare", because we are talking about raising the taxes on the rich, and they talk about how the rich pay 40% of all the taxes and neglect to mention that they make 60% of all the wealth. it seems to me if you make 60% of all the wealth then you should pay 60% of the taxes (i'm not sure of the figures)

for example, I pay taxes, Social Security and medicare on all of my wages, but my boss makes 1.5 times than I do, at some point he stops paying taxes on the money above a certain threshold.

he might pay more dollar wise, but percentage wise, he pays less that I do on the total portion, he might make the case that he pays more income tax than I do, but he gets to write off more than i do, so he actually pays less, and he does not have the expense of a car or insurance or gas, or clothes, because the company pays for all of his.

they think that all the others folks, the ones with no job, no money, are the cause of their own plight, and maybe some of them are, but sometimes the "rules" get in the way.

I once had an employee that was caught in the trap that if she made too much money, the state would take away her state sponsored child care, but how to you get from point A to C without going through point B? She was not trained enough for me to pay her more, yet if she worked long enough for me to train her, and I gave her incremental raises, she would lose the child care and then not be able to stay and work until she got trained enough so she could afford it.

it sort of makes me laugh, but it makes me cry at the same time, when people talk about, how we are becoming a socialist state, just because Obama wants to fix the broken health system.

every issue is complicated, but calling each other names and putting walls does not help.

my boss, i'm sure you figured out by now is republican, and whenever we start to get into some argument at work, I tell him he has valid points and we all need to sit down at a table and work it out, for some reason that shuts him up...

i think sometimes he just wants to hang on to the drama, and i think that is what the commenters are doing as well

Ten Years

2009-03-03T08:59:00.001-08:00

My mother died ten years ago this month. and after all this time, it does not hurt as much, it did however take a while for it to get to this point.

At the five year point, when another friend's mom died (in March), my un-faced grief somehow built up to a point where I had to see a counselor, and get some pills to help me relax.

I had buried my grief inside and never expressed how much my mom had meant to me, but also I never knew how my mom had treated some of my brothers and sisters. and that each of us, no matter how close we are or think that we think the same, have different perspectives.

Well, I am reminded of this because, over the last few days, I have had friends, some close, some casual, lose one of their parents.

My heart goes out to them. and I wish there was someway to ease their hearts.

However there is no way to ease someones heart when they lose a parent, all you can do is be there, let them vent if they need to, maybe share some things that you went through (without doing a one-up-man-ship type of thing) and if you knew the parents, share one of your fondest memories.

Maybe get them to share one of their best memories.

take a break

2009-02-16T11:06:00.000-08:00

Another Silly Game

2009-02-12T12:37:00.001-08:00

This one is about the stock market - Invest a million dollars and see if you can make money

Learn more

Hero Factory

2009-02-06T10:19:00.001-08:00

All right! Time for another turn in the silly factory, the last one is my favorite, maybe because it s both a silly name and I am into this cooking thing lately.

Turn Yourself into a hero

where did I leave my car?

2009-02-05T13:48:00.001-08:00

I have three of them, and I know where the Mini Cooper is, that car is parked out right in front of the neighbors' house, must remember to move it at the end of the week, otherwise it will get a parking ticket on it.

It is a cute, white on white convertible. really like that car.

The problem is....

I can't remember where my other two cars are, or even what kind they are.

That could be a problem if they get towed away, I can just imagine what kind of bill I would get from the towing company

(from a dream I had last night)

hmm

2009-01-29T15:08:00.001-08:00

You Are Charming and Eloquent

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people.

Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems.

Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Bears

2009-01-19T14:06:00.000-08:00

It was Polar Bear Weekend, up here at the River, and though I did go out one night, I just was not in the mood to be out that much.

Cowboy was away for the weekend, and I had a short bike ride on Sunday, so it was mainly sit in front of the TV and watch stupid shows.

One of them (but it wasn't one of the stupid ones) was actually about Polar Bears, global warming, how the ice is melting and making it harder for the Polar Bears to survive. I enjoyed that a lot.

I went out Friday night to the Triple R, paid 10 bucks to get in and saw some friends, the 10 bucks was to cover the cost of the show as well as raise money for charities, I was not interested in the show, so just stood around in the bar sipping tequila, and talked to friends.

After I awhile I headed to the Rainbow, where I saw an old friend, that I had not seen in awhile, they said they did not recognize me without my beard, I said "oh its still there, it is just gray now" and so he felt my face and then put on his glasses. Ahh, we're getting older.

The funny thing is my beard is getting grayer, but my hair is still pretty dark, what I hate the most is my nostril hair is gray, and so that means I have to pluck those like crazy.

The Sunday ride was in beautiful weather, abut since it was my first ride of the season, I coughed like crazy, so much that some friends said that they thought I didn't smoke, I laughed and said I don't, just had not been on the bike in awhile.

It was a nice fast and short ride, so I was home early, thought I wasn't tired but I fell asleep on the couch. So Cowboy said, he'd take me out to dinner instead of me cooking Beef Stroganoff like I planned.

I'll make it Tuesday instead. I'm going to make broccoli soup tonight.

It is going well

2009-01-07T11:14:00.001-08:00

Cowboy's Dad went in the Hospital to have a Quadruple By-pass, he did not have heart attack, he was in for some routine tests, and they discovered that he had a blockage.

So they scheduled the operation for yesterday, and everything went very well, The Doctor said he has a great heart, and everything went better than expected. He is responding well, and we are all very happy about how he is doing.

it's a brand new year

2009-01-05T10:38:00.001-08:00

This year we did go out to the River and celebrate, and I must be getting older because it wasn't as much fun as it was in the past.

Maybe partly because we were so disappointed in dinner. We went to the Village Inn, yeah the same one that Bing Crosby did the Christmas movie at, but though the food is normally quite good, it was not up to its usual standards this night.

It was a Price Fixed menu, which can be a good deal if you are in the mood to eat a bunch, but we did not want to eat that much, and the price dd not include any wine.

It was entirely too much food, the steak was cold, and nothing was really exciting about the food. They did decorate the tables and provide party hats, but they would have been better off to make sure the food was good.

So that was disappointing, when we got to the bars, (all three of them, is the River dieing?) we had a nice time but we were not in the mood to drink much with being so full from dinner. We rented a room so if we drank we would not have to drive back home.

It was nice to see friends, but I think next year if we go out, we will go to the city, and see a different set of friends.

Today is Cowboys birthday, but he has to work, has class, and his father is prepping for heart surgery (tomorrow), so yesterday I made him his birthday dinner.

We started out with Bread and Cheese skewers barbecued until the cheese melted, followed by shrimp that was marinated in tequila & lime, served with a white wine.

Then I made him roasted asparagus, wrapped in prosciutto and Parmesan cheese, four cheese mashed potatoes, and Fillet Mignon with a Fresh Blackberry & Cabernet wine reduction sauce.

For dessert, I made chocolate puff pastries with Ghirardelli chocolate.

He will open the rest of his presents tonight.

Suit up

2009-01-01T23:30:00.001-08:00

it just ridiculous...

Have you seen it?

The commercial for Geico, the one where the president of the company is talking to the gecko, and he is telling the gecko that if he dresses in a little suit that will make him look more professional.

I think it is just ridiculous, the gecko is not going to look more professional, he is just going to look silly.

Anyway, just my opinion.

Happy Holydays

2008-12-28T10:49:00.000-08:00

I believe in Christ, the man and the god, that dwells within in us all, but I don't believe in hate, though hate is easy to be found...

Sometimes it is harder to find the love, it takes a little bit more work to see the love that surrounds us, that love is really the only thing that makes life worth living.

Sometimes, if we are alone, it is easy to think that there is no love, but that is only a filter which one can, with practice, take off.

To experience love, we must first give love, for when you practice what you want, it will find its way to you.

So I wish for you, my readers and the others in my life, a life full of the practice of giving love, so that it may find you.

Christmas is upon us

2008-12-20T09:10:00.001-08:00

well, getting close certainly...

but for us last night was Secret Santa Night, here in Sonoma County, they do a fundraiser that helps buy gifts for those in need, small gifts, to large, sometimes just a coat or gas card to help someone out, all the way to paying the rent for a month.

This year we decided to take our normal Christmas budget and share half of it with the Secret Santa Fund.

We went to a local merchant and picked five hearts from the giving basket, bought gifts, and wrapped them back up and took them back to the merchant.

I get a little depressed (that we can't fill a tree, full of gifts for them), but Cowboy assures me that, when you have very little, getting gifts like this means so much.

We also do this thing on Christmas morning, where we go and feed the hungry, and I get depressed then as well, about simple things that we take for granted, that are so much appreciated by those in need...

Like a fresh orange, instead of one that has been pulled off the shelves of a grocery store.

After we get done doing these things, I feel sad, that I have not been more grateful for all that I have, for all that I have, has not been more appreciated.

and I count my blessings

here it goes again

2008-12-06T09:09:00.001-08:00

New Cooking Site

2008-12-05T13:13:00.000-08:00

I've finished updating my new cooking blog (finally), the link has been changed, now you can easily print out any recipes that you might like.

Just click on "click 2 print" and a word document will open up and you may just print it from your computer

the walls will fall

2008-12-01T11:29:00.001-08:00

brick by brick, little by little...

sure some one will go out and try to mortar pieces back on and they might succeed for awhile, they might add reinforcements, and other things to hold those walls up, but eventually the wall will fall, for its foundation is not built on anything secure.

love wins out in the end...

try as you will, hate never keeps things buried... it might seem for awhile, for years even, maybe even a few decades, but love, justice and equality always wins in the end...

Women's rights, interracial marriage, gay rights, the freedom to be who you are inside...

Nothing stops love, nothing, not religion, not the state, not even death.

At times it may seem dormant, but what is love always rises to the grow in the sun.

For no matter how long you might fight it, eventually you will come to see that there is nothing wrong with love, even if you don't understand it.

Eventually you will get tired of summoning hate to fight love, eventually you will find that concentrating on hate to fight love cheapens your own love.

Eventually you will see that love is not threatening.

work wankers

2008-11-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

I usually don't like talking about work, but sometimes it just gets to me... so here goes... the names have been changed to protect the idiots...

~
So I'm sitting at my desk talking to a customer, the phone rings, as we have other people working here and answering machines on each line I let it ring, it rings once or twice, I'm not paying that much attention.

So after the customer leaves, Smarty (not his real name) comes in and asks who was on the phone. I reply "I don't know, I didn't answer it"

Smarty then says "Was it Snod" (not his real name). I reply " I don't know, I didn't answer it"

Smarty then says, "Well who was it" I reply "I don't know, I didn't answer the phone. Ask the person who did"

Smarty then says, "Well you had to answer it because I didn't". I reply "Well, I didn't answer the phone, so I don't know who was on it. Ask somebody else!"
(actually I think it was a cell phone that got dropped)
~
Snod (not his real name) comes into my office and asks " Why is that person parking there" (a parking spot in front of the office) " I reply " Probably because it is a parking spot"

~
These are the kinds of things that happen to me, so I end up saying to myself, "I need to get a different job".

The Sun will come up tomorrow

2008-11-21T14:20:00.000-08:00

though the yes vote on Prop 8 is depressing... we are still are on way back to the Grand thing That America can be...

2008-11-11T15:47:00.000-08:00

Tradition

2008-11-06T16:27:00.001-08:00

It's always been that way...

That is one of the arguments that is used against same-sex marriage.

So lets talk a little about tradition

Some traditions are good they provide a sense of community, but some traditions are bad, they promote hatred, and slavery. and a rigidness of society.

Some traditions, that have changed in the last 150 years, the right of America's women to vote (1920), England (1928), Australian women of color (1968), Switzerland, (1959) the right of married women to own property in their own name (France 1965)

In the United States of America the Equal Rights Amendment has never been ratified. We also are the only developed Country to not have ratified the United Nations International Bill of Rights.

Slavery

Importation of slaves was outlawed in the United States in 1808, though slavery itself was not outlawed until 1861, China (1910) England (1807), The United Nations (1948)

It is estimated, that 27 million people still live as slaves today.

In Mauritania alone, it is estimated that up to 600,000 men, women and children, or 20% of the population, are enslaved, many of them used as bonded labor. Slavery in Mauritania was criminalized in August 2007.

In Niger, slavery is also a current phenomenon. A Nigerian study has found that more than 800,000 people are enslaved, almost 8% of the population.

Pygmies, the people of Central Africa's rain forest, live in servitude to the Bantus.

Some tribal sheiks in Iraq still keep blacks, called Abd, which means servant or slave in Arabic, as slaves.

Child slavery has commonly been used in the production of cash crops and mining.

According to the U.S. Department of State, more than 109,000 children were working on cocoa farms alone in Côte d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast) in 'the worst forms of child labor' in 2002.

In November 2006, the International Labor Organization announced it will be seeking "to prosecute members of the ruling Myanmar junta for crimes against humanity" over the continuous forced labor of its citizens by the military at the International Court of Justice.

According to the International Labor Organization, an estimated 800,000 people are subject to forced labor in Myanmar.

The Ecowas Court of Justice is hearing the case of Hadijatou Mani in late 2008, where Ms. Mani hopes to compel the government of Niger to end slavery in its jurisdiction. Cases brought by her in local courts have failed so far.

So if you use tradition as for why we should not use allow gay marriage, you are ignoring the FACT that since the begining of time, traditions change as we grow and learn.

No on Hate

2008-11-05T18:34:00.001-08:00

Well, it seems like Proposition 8, the “Hate” proposition is passing…

Though it is a defeat for individual rights, I hope that in the long run, it will be someting that end up before the Supreme Court.

And though we all hope that “People” (as in the majority) might be progressive and vote for individual rights, the reality of where we are is that they won’t, it will have to be up to the courts to provide justice.

And should this issue go before the Supreme Court, and presented as the rights of a minority, being trampled on by the fears/hate of the majority, this law and laws like it in all the states will be struck down, and that will be for the benefit of all the people of the United States rather than the people of one state, and so I believe that a greater good will come out of this.

- update -

The American Civil Liberties Union, Lambda Legal and the National Center for Lesbian Rights filed a writ petition before the California Supreme Court today urging the court to invalidate Proposition 8 if it passes.

The petition charges that Proposition 8 is invalid because the initiative process was improperly used in an attempt to undo the constitution’s core commitment to equality for everyone by eliminating a fundamental right from just one group – lesbian and gay Californians. Proposition 8 also improperly attempts to prevent the courts from exercising their essential constitutional role of protecting the equal protection rights of minorities.

According to the California Constitution, such radical changes to the organizing principles of state government cannot be made by simple majority vote through the initiative process, but instead must, at a minimum, go through the state legislature first.

The California Constitution itself sets out two ways to alter the document that sets the most basic rules about how state government works. Through the initiative process, voters can make relatively small changes to the constitution. But any measure that would change the underlying principles of the constitution must first be approved by the legislature before being submitted to the voters. That didn’t happen with Proposition 8, and that’s why it’s invalid.

“If the voters approved an initiative that took the right to free speech away from women, but not from men, everyone would agree that such a measure conflicts with the basic ideals of equality enshrined in our constitution. Proposition 8 suffers from the same flaw – it removes a protected constitutional right – here, the right to marry – not from all Californians, but just from one group of us,” said Jenny Pizer, a staff attorney with Lambda Legal. “That’s too big a change in the principles of our constitution to be made just by a bare majority of voters.”

“A major purpose of the constitution is to protect minorities from majorities. Because changing that principle is a fundamental change to the organizing principles of the constitution itself, only the legislature can initiate such revisions to the constitution,” added Elizabeth Gill, a staff attorney with the ACLU of Northern California.

The lawsuit was filed today in the California Supreme Court on behalf of Equality California and 6 same-sex couples who did not marry before Tuesday’s election but would like to be able to marry now.

The groups filed a writ petition in the California Supreme Court before the elections presenting similar arguments because they believed the initiative should not have appeared on the ballot, but the court dismissed that petition without addressing its merits. That earlier order is not precedent here.

“Historically, courts are reluctant to get involved in disputes if they can avoid doing so,” said Shannon Minter, Legal Director of NCLR. “It is not uncommon for the court to wait to see what happens at the polls before considering these legal arguments. However, now that Prop 8 may pass, the courts will have to weigh in and we believe they will agree that Prop 8 should never have been on the ballot in the first place.”

This would not be the first time the court has struck down an improper voter initiative. In 1990, the court stuck down an initiative that would have added a provision to the California Constitution stating that the “Constitution shall not be construed by the courts to afford greater rights to criminal defendants than those afforded by the Constitution of the United States.” That measure was invalid because it improperly attempted to strip California’s courts of their role as independent interpreters of the state’s constitution.

a new day dawns

2008-11-04T13:34:00.000-08:00

and the reign of George the IV is over...

We hope for a return to Democracy, and all the things that America used to stand for.

I hope that Obama wins, that we can return to a discussion, a dialogue of what America needs. That we learn to reach out and find our common ground.

I hope the tradition of America respecting the rights of the individual allows Proposition 8 - the "Hate" Proposition to go down in defeat.

But if we lose that one, we will win in the end, for when Obama wins, and he gets to appoint a Supreme court Justice or two, it is my belief that they will not allow the majority to take away the rights of the few.

With all the outrage going on let us look at the definition of Marriage from Wikipedia

If you read all that, you might note that some people wish to add or make dominate, their own religious views, and strike out anything that does not conform to their own views.

I guess at the end of it all, despite what anyone might say, that though the bulk of marriage is between a man and a woman (and that would be so, because most people are straight) that Marriage is fluid, and reflects the values of the society which wherein they are based.

And that most of the time marriage had been used to confer ownership of the female by the male.

People tend to forget that in the Western World, we no longer think of women as property, and that is a redefinition of marriage.

Now that the Supreme Court of California has said that;

" These core substantive rights include, most fundamentally, the opportunity of an individual to establish — with the person with whom the individual has chosen to share his or her life — an officially recognized and protected family possessing mutual rights and responsibilities and entitled to the same respect and dignity accorded a union traditionally designated as marriage.

As past cases establish, the substantive right of two adults who share a loving relationship to join together to establish an officially recognized family of their own — and, if the couple chooses, to raise children within that family — constitutes a vitally important attribute of the fundamental interest in liberty and personal autonomy that the California Constitution secures to all persons for the benefit of both the individual and society.

Furthermore, in contrast to earlier times, our state now recognizes that an individual’s capacity to establish a loving and long-term committed relationship with another person and responsibly to care for and raise children does not depend upon the individual’s sexual orientation, and, more generally, that an individual’s sexual orientation — like a person’s race or gender — does not constitute a legitimate basis upon which to deny or withhold legal rights. "

No on Hate

2008-10-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

During this time, its hard, it is a challenge for me to not hate...

Yes it bothers me every time I see another "Yes on 8 - We need to Protect Marriage"

From what? I really wonder.

Even a co-worker asked me the other day (Straight, Catholic) what the big deal was, he didn't get what needed to be protected - He could not understand how allowing gay men & women to marry could run his or any one else's marriage.

If we really wanted to protect marriage, we should restrict anybody from marrying, until they can pass a test that makes them understand that communication, acceptance, and forgiveness makes a marriage work.

That sometimes, no matter who we are, we fail to live up to another persons standards, and that most of the time we fail to live up to ours, and that forgiveness starts with ourselves, and we sometimes project ontothe other person our own fears or shortcomings.

It is fear, or the inability to place yourself in another persons shoes, that makes people seem to hate so much.

It is hate that does not want our kids to learn not about " doing gay slurs, racist slurs or sexist slurs " It is hate (or laziness) that does not want our kids to learn to treat each other with respect, when we don't understand that we have differences.

And it is fear (or hate mongering), when you say someone is not Patriotic, just because they have a different opinion than yours.

I can understand that people might fear that our country is on the decline, but, silencing all discussion about what path to take is not the answer.

My Boss, who is a republican, didn't know what to say the other day , when I told him that he was not an evil person just because he was republican, that he had some good points, but just silencing the opposition did nothing to help his cause.

It is through dialogue that we can come to a place where we all, we may not be happy, but satisfied with where we are at.

And sad to say, but sometimes, there are people, they will not come to the table in a spirit of compromise.

I believe that there are somethings that should not be compromised, such as the rights of the individual.

It is one thing for that individual to make a sacrifice for the greater good of his fellow people, it is another thing to take away the rights of another individual to make yourself more comfortable.

Rights

2008-10-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

The Reckoning - Loosening the Reins

2008-10-03T09:43:00.000-07:00

By STEPHEN LABATON

“We have a good deal of comfort about the capital cushions at these firms at the moment.” — Christopher Cox, chairman of the Securities and Exchange Commission, March 11, 2008.

As rumors swirled that Bear Stearns faced imminent collapse in early March, Christopher Cox was told by his staff that Bear Stearns had $17 billion in cash and other assets — more than enough to weather the storm.

Drained of most of its cash three days later, Bear Stearns was forced into a hastily arranged marriage with JPMorgan Chase — backed by a $29 billion taxpayer dowry.

Within six months, other lions of Wall Street would also either disappear or transform themselves to survive the financial maelstrom — Merrill Lynch sold itself to Bank of America, Lehman Brothers filed for bankruptcy protection, and Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley converted to commercial banks.

How could Mr. Cox have been so wrong?

Many events in Washington, on Wall Street and elsewhere around the country have led to what has been called the most serious financial crisis since the 1930s. But decisions made at a brief meeting on April 28, 2004, explain why the problems could spin out of control. The agency’s failure to follow through on those decisions also explains why Washington regulators did not see what was coming.

On that bright spring afternoon, the five members of the Securities and Exchange Commission met in a basement hearing room to consider an urgent plea by the big investment banks.

They wanted an exemption for their brokerage units from an old regulation that limited the amount of debt they could take on. The exemption would unshackle billions of dollars held in reserve as a cushion against losses on their investments. Those funds could then flow up to the parent company, enabling it to invest in the fast-growing but opaque world of mortgage-backed securities; credit derivatives, a form of insurance for bond holders; and other exotic instruments.

The five investment banks led the charge, including Goldman Sachs, which was headed by Henry M. Paulson Jr. Two years later, he left to become Treasury secretary.

A lone dissenter — a software consultant and expert on risk management — weighed in from Indiana with a two-page letter to warn the commission that the move was a grave mistake. He never heard back from Washington.

One commissioner, Harvey J. Goldschmid, questioned the staff about the consequences of the proposed exemption. It would only be available for the largest firms, he was reassuringly told — those with assets greater than $5 billion.

“We’ve said these are the big guys,” Mr. Goldschmid said, provoking nervous laughter, “but that means if anything goes wrong, it’s going to be an awfully big mess.”

Mr. Goldschmid, an authority on securities law from Columbia, was a behind-the-scenes adviser in 2002 to Senator Paul S. Sarbanes when he rewrote the nation’s corporate laws after a wave of accounting scandals. “Do we feel secure if there are these drops in capital we really will have investor protection?” Mr. Goldschmid asked. A senior staff member said the commission would hire the best minds, including people with strong quantitative skills to parse the banks’ balance sheets.

Annette L. Nazareth, the head of market regulation, reassured the commission that under the new rules, the companies for the first time could be restricted by the commission from excessively risky activity. She was later appointed a commissioner and served until January 2008.

“I’m very happy to support it,” said Commissioner Roel C. Campos, a former federal prosecutor and owner of a small radio broadcasting company from Houston, who then deadpanned: “And I keep my fingers crossed for the future.”

The proceeding was sparsely attended. None of the major media outlets, including The New York Times, covered it.

After 55 minutes of discussion, which can now be heard on the Web sites of the agency and The Times, the chairman, William H. Donaldson, a veteran Wall Street executive, called for a vote. It was unanimous. The decision, changing what was known as the net capital rule, was completed and published in The Federal Register a few months later.

With that, the five big independent investment firms were unleashed.

In loosening the capital rules, which are supposed to provide a buffer in turbulent times, the agency also decided to rely on the firms’ own computer models for determining the riskiness of investments, essentially outsourcing the job of monitoring risk to the banks themselves.

Over the following months and years, each of the firms would take advantage of the looser rules. At Bear Stearns, the leverage ratio — a measurement of how much the firm was borrowing compared to its total assets — rose sharply, to 33 to 1. In other words, for every dollar in equity, it had $33 of debt. The ratios at the other firms also rose significantly.

The 2004 decision for the first time gave the S.E.C. a window on the banks’ increasingly risky investments in mortgage-related securities.

But the agency never took true advantage of that part of the bargain. The supervisory program under Mr. Cox, who arrived at the agency a year later, was a low priority.

The commission assigned seven people to examine the parent companies — which last year controlled financial empires with combined assets of more than $4 trillion. Since March 2007, the office has not had a director. And as of last month, the office had not completed a single inspection since it was reshuffled by Mr. Cox more than a year and a half ago.

The few problems the examiners preliminarily uncovered about the riskiness of the firms’ investments and their increased reliance on debt — clear signs of trouble — were all but ignored.

The commission’s division of trading and markets “became aware of numerous potential red flags prior to Bear Stearns’s collapse, regarding its concentration of mortgage securities, high leverage, shortcomings of risk management in mortgage-backed securities and lack of compliance with the spirit of certain” capital standards, said an inspector general’s report issued last Friday. But the division “did not take actions to limit these risk factors.”

Drive to Deregulate

The commission’s decision effectively to outsource its oversight to the firms themselves fit squarely in the broader Washington culture of the last eight years under President Bush.

A similar closeness to industry and laissez-faire philosophy has driven a push for deregulation throughout the government, from the Consumer Product Safety Commission and the Environmental Protection Agency to worker safety and transportation agencies.

“It’s a fair criticism of the Bush administration that regulators have relied on many voluntary regulatory programs,” said Roderick M. Hills, a Republican who was chairman of the S.E.C. under President Gerald R. Ford. “The problem with such voluntary programs is that, as we’ve seen throughout history, they often don’t work.”

As was the case with other agencies, the commission’s decision was motivated by industry complaints of excessive regulation at a time of growing competition from overseas. The 2004 decision was aimed at easing regulatory burdens that the European Union was about to impose on the foreign operations of United States investment banks.

The Europeans said they would agree not to regulate the foreign subsidiaries of the investment banks on one condition — that the commission regulate the parent companies, along with the brokerage units that the S.E.C. already oversaw.

A 1999 law, however, had left a gap that did not give the commission explicit oversight of the parent companies. To get around that problem, and in exchange for the relaxed capital rules, the banks volunteered to let the commission examine the books of their parent companies and subsidiaries.

The 2004 decision also reflected a faith that Wall Street’s financial interests coincided with Washington’s regulatory interests.

“We foolishly believed that the firms had a strong culture of self-preservation and responsibility and would have the discipline not to be excessively borrowing,” said Professor James D. Cox, an expert on securities law and accounting at Duke School of Law (and no relationship to Christopher Cox).

“Letting the firms police themselves made sense to me because I didn’t think the S.E.C. had the staff and wherewithal to impose its own standards and I foolishly thought the market would impose its own self-discipline. We’ve all learned a terrible lesson,” he added.

In letters to the commissioners, senior executives at the five investment banks complained about what they called unnecessary regulation and oversight by both American and European authorities. A lone voice of dissent in the 2004 proceeding came from a software consultant from Valparaiso, Ind., who said the computer models run by the firms — which the regulators would be relying on — could not anticipate moments of severe market turbulence.

“With the stroke of a pen, capital requirements are removed!” the consultant, Leonard D. Bole, wrote to the commission on Jan. 22, 2004. “Has the trading environment changed sufficiently since 1997, when the current requirements were enacted, that the commission is confident that current requirements in examples such as these can be disregarded?”

He said that similar computer standards had failed to protect Long-Term Capital Management, the hedge fund that collapsed in 1998, and could not protect companies from the market plunge of October 1987.

Mr. Bole, who earned a master’s degree in business administration at the University of Chicago, helps write computer programs that financial institutions use to meet capital requirements.

He said in a recent interview that he was never called by anyone from the commission.

“I’m a little guy in the land of giants,” he said. “I thought that the reduction in capital was rather dramatic.”

Policing Wall Street

A once-proud agency with a rich history at the intersection of Washington and Wall Street, the Securities and Exchange Commission was created during the Great Depression as part of the broader effort to restore confidence to battered investors. It was led in its formative years by heavyweight New Dealers, including James Landis and William O. Douglas. When President Franklin D. Roosevelt was asked in 1934 why he appointed Joseph P. Kennedy, a spectacularly successful stock speculator, as the agency’s first chairman, Roosevelt replied: “Set a thief to catch a thief.”

The commission’s most public role in policing Wall Street is its enforcement efforts. But critics say that in recent years it has failed to deter market problems. “It seems to me the enforcement effort in recent years has fallen short of what one Supreme Court justice once called the fear of the shotgun behind the door,” said Arthur Levitt Jr., who was S.E.C. chairman in the Clinton administration. “With this commission, the shotgun too rarely came out from behind the door.”

Christopher Cox had been a close ally of business groups in his 17 years as a House member from one of the most conservative districts in Southern California. Mr. Cox had led the effort to rewrite securities laws to make investor lawsuits harder to file. He also fought against accounting rules that would give less favorable treatment to executive stock options.

Under Mr. Cox, the commission responded to complaints by some businesses by making it more difficult for the enforcement staff to investigate and bring cases against companies. The commission has repeatedly reversed or reduced proposed settlements that companies had tentatively agreed upon. While the number of enforcement cases has risen, the number of cases involving significant players or large amounts of money has declined.

Mr. Cox dismantled a risk management office created by Mr. Donaldson that was assigned to watch for future problems. While other financial regulatory agencies criticized a blueprint by Mr. Paulson, the Treasury secretary, that proposed to reduce their stature — and that of the S.E.C. — Mr. Cox did not challenge the plan, leaving it to three former Democratic and Republican commission chairmen to complain that the blueprint would neuter the agency.

In the process, Mr. Cox has surrounded himself with conservative lawyers, economists and accountants who, before the market turmoil of recent months, had embraced a far more limited vision for the commission than many of his predecessors.

‘Stakes in the Ground’

Last Friday, the commission formally ended the 2004 program, acknowledging that it had failed to anticipate the problems at Bear Stearns and the four other major investment banks.

“The last six months have made it abundantly clear that voluntary regulation does not work,” Mr. Cox said.

The decision to shutter the program came after Mr. Cox was blamed by Senator John McCain, the Republican presidential candidate, for the crisis. Mr. McCain has demanded Mr. Cox’s resignation.

Mr. Cox has said that the 2004 program was flawed from its inception. But former officials as well as the inspector general’s report have suggested that a major reason for its failure was Mr. Cox’s use of it.

“In retrospect, the tragedy is that the 2004 rule making gave us the ability to get information that would have been critical to sensible monitoring, and yet the S.E.C. didn’t oversee well enough,” Mr. Goldschmid said in an interview. He and Mr. Donaldson left the commission in 2005.

Mr. Cox declined requests for an interview. In response to written questions, including whether he or the commission had made any mistakes over the last three years that contributed to the current crisis, he said, “There will be no shortage of retrospective analyses about what happened and what should have happened.” He said that by last March he had concluded that the monitoring program’s “metrics were inadequate.”

He said that because the commission did not have the authority to curtail the heavy borrowing at Bear Stearns and the other firms, he and the commission were powerless to stop it.

“Implementing a purely voluntary program was very difficult because the commission’s regulations shouldn’t be suggestions,” he said. “The fact these companies could withdraw from voluntary supervision at their discretion diminished the mandate of the program and weakened its effectiveness. Experience has shown that the S.E.C. could not bootstrap itself into authority it didn’t have.”

But critics say that the commission could have done more, and that the agency’s effectiveness comes from the tone set at the top by the chairman, or what Mr. Levitt, the longest-serving S.E.C. chairman in history, calls “stakes in the ground.”

“If you go back to the chairmen in recent years, you will see that each spoke about a variety of issues that were important to them,” Mr. Levitt said. “This commission placed very few stakes in the ground.”

Republicans and military men on John McCain

2008-09-25T08:18:00.001-07:00

hmmm

2008-09-11T10:27:00.000-07:00

Ignorance is bliss, which perhaps explains Gov. Sarah Palin being so confidently wrong about the root cause of the federalization of most of the nation's mortgage market. But what is Sen. John McCain's excuse? Both act as if the financial meltdown of the U.S. economy has nothing to do with the policies of the political party they represent — but she at least may not know any better.

Distracted momentarily from her campaign revelries of maverick opposition to the "bridge to nowhere," which she had supported until it became a public relations debacle, and congressional earmarks for which she, as a small-town mayor, had hustled piggishly at the federal trough, Palin made the mistake of dealing with an unscripted subject.

Referring to the government's bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, Palin opined that the two had "gotten too big and too expensive to the taxpayers," displaying abysmal ignorance of the fact that only now will those privately owned banks become a huge taxpayer obligation, as the federal government takes them over. Nor can the meltdown of home values be traced to those two beleaguered institutions, because they did not make the original subprime mortgage commitments.

The housing bubble was the result of the Ponzi-scheme antics of those other financial entities: commercial banks, stockbrokers and hedge funds, which were allowed in a GOP-deregulated market to get into the "swap" business. Through the rampant reselling of loans, the obligation to collect on a loan was divorced from the act of selling it in the first place, so who cared if the recipient of the loan was not at all qualified or the appraisal of the property value was inflated, as long as the paper was traded away, or insured, before the moment of foreclosure?

As with any Ponzi scheme, the perps, who included the legislators as well as the bankers who exploited the loopholes they provided, expected to bail long before the bubble burst. The role of the legislators, Republican-led but with far too many Democratic running dogs, was critical to the success of the scam.

The mortgage swaps distancing the originator of the loan from the ultimate collector were made legal only as a result of the Commodity Futures Modernization Act, which former Sen. Phil Gramm, R-Texas, pushed through Congress just hours before the 2000 Christmas recess. Gramm, until recently co-chair of the McCain campaign, also had co-authored the Gramm-Leach-Bliley Act, which became law in 1999 with President Bill Clinton's signature.

That gem, which Gramm had pushed for years with massive financial industry lobbying, destroyed the Depression-era barrier to the merger of stockbrokers, banks and insurance companies. Those two acts effectively ended significant regulation of the financial community, and no wonder we have witnessed an even more rapid and severe meltdown in housing values than during the Great Depression.

Not surprisingly, Gramm was rewarded for his service upon retirement as a senator and as head of the Senate Banking Committee with a top position at the Swiss-based UBS bank, which is close to drowning in the subprime mortgage nightmare he helped create. These folks have no shame, as was evidenced when the senator's wife, Wendy, was named a director of Enron, whose roiling of the energy market had been made possible only through yet another provision of Gramm's Commodity Futures Modernization Act.

While neophyte Palin can claim ignorance of such matters, that would be particularly difficult for McCain, who as a senator consistently lined up with Gramm in his deregulation crusade. Clearly McCain had not learned much from his previous involvement with the savings-and-loan debacle about the risks to consumers in unregulated banking.

McCain served as chair of Gramm's abortive 1996 presidential campaign, and Gramm returned the favor, providing critical support for McCain with the hard-line Republican base, including the editorial board of The Wall Street Journal. It was assumed in the business press that Gramm was the front-runner to be treasury secretary in a McCain administration. Gramm left his role as the top economic person near McCain only after he made an embarrassing statement blaming the current economic downturn on "whiners," an awkward reference to the victims of his disastrous legislation.

Amazingly, the turmoil in the housing market, which has led to the socializing of the nation's revered homeownership market in a massive expansion of the role of big government, has apparently not troubled McCain's conservative supporters. As I said, ignorance is bliss, and evidently not just for the newbie Palin.

Robert Scheer's new book is "The Pornography of Power: How Defense Hawks Hijacked 9/11 and Weakened America." E-mail Robert Scheer at rscheer@truthdig.com. To find out more about Robert Scheer, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Webpage at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2008 CREATORS SYNDICATE INC.

What is in your garden?

2008-09-10T22:18:00.001-07:00

A Baboon Bottom Iris

Honey Tiger Iris

& a Royal Purple Batik Iris

I love Iris's and these ones, I just planted in my front yard

?hmmm

2008-09-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

The GOP Loves the Heartland To Death
By THOMAS FRANK
September 10, 2008; Page A13

It tells us something about Sarah Palin's homage to small-town America, delivered to an enthusiastic GOP convention last week, that she chose to fire it up with an unsourced quotation from the all-time champion of fake populism, the belligerent right-wing columnist Westbrook Pegler.

"We grow good people in our small towns, with honesty and sincerity and dignity," the vice-presidential candidate said, quoting an anonymous "writer," which is to say, Pegler, who must have penned that mellifluous line when not writing his more controversial stuff. As the New York Times pointed out in its obituary of him in 1969, Pegler once lamented that a would-be assassin "hit the wrong man" when gunning for Franklin Roosevelt. [The Tilting Yard] Corbis

Small-town America.

There's no evidence that Mrs. Palin shares the trademark Pegler bloodlust -- except maybe when it comes to moose and wolves. Nevertheless, the red-state myth that Mrs. Palin reiterated for her adoring audience owes far more to the venomous spirit of Pegler than it does to Norman Rockwell.

Small town people, Mrs. Palin went on, are "the ones who do some of the hardest work in America, who grow our food and run our factories and fight our wars." They are authentic; they are noble, and they are her own: "I grew up with those people."

But what really defines them in Mrs. Palin's telling is their enemies, the people who supposedly "look down" on them. The opposite of the heartland is the loathsome array of snobs and fakers, "reporters and commentators," lobbyists and others who make up "the Washington elite."

Presumably the various elite Washington lobbyists who have guided John McCain's presidential campaign were exempt from Mrs. Palin's criticism. As would be former House Speaker Dennis Hastert, now a "senior adviser" to the Dickstein Shapiro lobby firm, who hymned the "Sarah Palin part of the party" thus: "Their kids aren't going to go to Ivy League schools. Their sons leave high school and join the military to serve our country. Their husbands and wives work two jobs to make sure the family is sustained."

Generally speaking, though, when husbands and wives work two jobs each it is not merely because they are virtuous but because working one job doesn't earn them enough to get by. The two-job workers in Middle America aren't spurning the Ivy League and joining the military straight out of high school just because they're people of principle, although many of them are. It is because they can't afford to do otherwise.

Leave the fantasy land of convention rhetoric, and you will find that small-town America, this legendary place of honesty and sincerity and dignity, is not doing very well. If you drive west from Kansas City, Mo., you will find towns where Main Street is largely boarded up. You will see closed schools and hospitals. You will hear about depleted groundwater and massive depopulation.

And eventually you will ask yourself, how did this happen? Did Hollywood do this? Was it those "reporters and commentators" with their fancy college degrees who wrecked Main Street, U.S.A.?

No. For decades now we have been electing people like Sarah Palin who claimed to love and respect the folksy conservatism of small towns, and yet who have unfailingly enacted laws to aid the small town's mortal enemies.

Without raising an antitrust finger they have permitted fantastic concentration in the various industries that buy the farmer's crops. They have undone the New Deal system of agricultural price supports in favor of schemes called "Freedom to Farm" and loan deficiency payments -- each reform apparently designed to secure just one thing out of small town America: cheap commodities for the big food processors. Richard Nixon's Agriculture Secretary Earl Butz put the conservative attitude toward small farmers most bluntly back in the 1970s when he warned, "Get big or get out."

A few days ago I talked politics with Donn Teske, the president of the Kansas Farmers Union and a former Republican. Barack Obama may come from a big city, he admits, but the Farmers Union gives him a 100% rating for his votes in Congress. John McCain gets a 0%. "If any farmer in the Plains States looked at McCain's voting record on ag issues," Mr. Teske says, "no one would vote for him."

Now, Mr. McCain is known for his straight talk with industrial workers, telling them their jobs are never coming back, that the almighty market took them away for good, and that retraining is their only hope.

But he seems to think that small-town people can be easily played. Just choose a running mate who knows how to skin a moose and all will be forgiven. Drive them off the land, shutter their towns, toss their life chances into the grinders of big agriculture . . . and praise their values. The TV eminences will coo in appreciation of your in-touch authenticity, and the carnival will move on.

Nothing much happening here

2008-09-08T16:27:00.000-07:00

I'm still moving the old posts over and I still adding recipes to my "Cook for Me" site.

As I was adding a old recipe I thought I need to make that this weekend, click HERE to find out what it was.

We spent Saturday at our friend Vickie's house, as she had managed to get her phone disconnected, long story, but Cowboy got it hooked up again, well we had to call the phone service about 20 times.

Sunday was putt around the house...

a bit of fluff

2008-09-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

This is one of my favorite video's on You Tube, I did not see it on TV, I only heard about from one of my friends

hmm?

2008-09-04T18:05:00.001-07:00

The Nation -- Everyone is trying to get the measure of Sarah Palin, the woman who was rocketed from small-state obscurity to the national stage when John McCain selected her as his running-mate on the 2008 Republican ticket.

Republican senators and governors are admitting interviews, as former Senate Majority Leader Trent Lott, R-Mississippi, did with me a few minutes ago that: "Most of us don't really know her personally."

Well, Anne Kilkenny does know Sarah Palin.

Kilkenny's a good citizen of Wasilla, Alaska, the city where Palin got her political state as a city council member and then mayor. She's a self-described "housewife" who volunteers as a voter registrar, has been active in the PTA and regularly attends local government meetings.

She is, as well, someone who has clashed with Palin. More than a decade ago, when Palin was campaigning to ban books, Kilkenny says, "I was one of the 100 or so people who rallied to support the City Librarian against Sarah's attempt at censorship."

What's Kilkenney's take?

Here's a letter she has circulated

I am a resident of Wasilla, Alaska. I have known Sarah since 1992. Everyone here knows Sarah, so it is nothing special to say we are on a first-name basis. Our children have attended the same schools. Her father was my child's favorite substitute teacher. I also am on a first name basis with her parents and mother-in-law. I attended more City Council meetings during her administration than about 99% of the residents of the city.

She is enormously popular; in every way she's like the most popular girl in middle school. Even men who think she is a poor choice and won't vote for her can't quit smiling when talking about her because she is a "babe".

It is astonishing and almost scary how well she can keep a secret. She kept her most recent pregnancy a secret from her children and parents for seven months.

She is "pro-life". She recently gave birth to a Down's syndrome baby. There is no cover-up involved, here; Trig is her baby.

She is energetic and hardworking. She regularly worked out at the gym.

She is savvy. She doesn't take positions; she just "puts things out there" and if they prove to be popular, then she takes credit.

Her husband works a union job on the North Slope for BP and is a champion snowmobile racer. Todd Palin's kind of job is highly sought-after because of the schedule and high pay. He arranges his work schedule so he can fish for salmon in Bristol Bay for a month or so in summer, but by no stretch of the imagination is fishing their major source of income. Nor has her life-style ever been anything like that of native Alaskans.

Sarah and her whole family are avid hunters.

She's smart.

Her experience is as mayor of a city with a population of about 5,000 (at the time), and less than 2 years as governor of a state with about 670,000 residents.

During her mayoral administration most of the actual work of running this small city was turned over to an administrator. She had been pushed to hire this administrator by party power-brokers after she had gotten herself into some trouble over precipitous firings which had given rise to a recall campaign.

Sarah campaigned in Wasilla as a "fiscal conservative." During her 6 years as Mayor, she increased general government expenditures by over 33%. During those same 6 years the amount of taxes collected by the City increased by 38%. This was during a period of low inflation (1996-2002). She reduced progressive property taxes and increased a regressive sales tax which taxed even food. The tax cuts that she promoted benefited large corporate property owners way more than they benefited residents.

The huge increases in tax revenues during her mayoral administration weren't enough to fund everything on her wish list though, borrowed money was needed, too. She inherited a city with zero debt, but left it with indebtedness of over $22 million. What did Mayor Palin encourage the voters to borrow money for? Was it the infrastructure that she said she supported? The sewage treatment plant that the city lacked? or a new library? No. $1m for a park. $15m-plus for construction of a multi-use sports complex which she rushed through to build on a piece of property that the City didn't even have clear title to, that was still in litigation 7 yrs later -- to the delight of the lawyers involved! The sports complex itself is a nice addition to the community but a huge money pit, not the profit-generator she claimed it would be. She also supported bonds for $5.5m for road projects that could have been done in 5-7 yrs without any borrowing.

While Mayor, City Hall was extensively remodeled and her office redecorated more than once.

These are small numbers, but Wasilla is a very small city.

As an oil producer, the high price of oil has created a budget surplus in Alaska. Rather than invest this surplus in technology that will make us energy independent and increase efficiency, as Governor she proposed distribution of this surplus to every individual in the state.

In this time of record state revenues and budget surpluses, she recommended that the state borrow/bond for road projects, even while she proposed distribution of surplus state revenues: spend today's surplus, borrow for needs.

She's not very tolerant of divergent opinions or open to outside ideas or compromise. As Mayor, she fought ideas that weren't generated by her or her staff. Ideas weren't evaluated on their merits, but on the basis of who proposed them.

While Sarah was Mayor of Wasilla she tried to fire our highly respected City Librarian because the Librarian refused to consider removing from the library some books that Sarah wanted removed. City residents rallied to the defense of the City Librarian and against Palin's attempt at out-and-out censorship, so Palin backed down and withdrew her termination letter. People who fought her attempt to oust the Librarian are on her enemies list to this day.

Sarah complained about the "old boy's club" when she first ran for Mayor, so what did she bring Wasilla? A new set of "old boys". Palin fired most of the experienced staff she inherited. At the City and as Governor she hired or elevated new, inexperienced, obscure people, creating a staff totally dependent on her for their jobs and eternally grateful and fiercely loyal--loyal to the point of abusing their power to further her personal agenda, as she has acknowledged happened in the case of pressuring the State's top cop (see below).

As Mayor, Sarah fired Wasilla's Police Chief because he "intimidated" her, she told the press. As Governor, her recent firing of Alaska's top cop has the ring of familiarity about it. He served at her pleasure and she had every legal right to fire him, but it's pretty clear that an important factor in her decision to fire him was because he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband, a State Trooper. Under investigation for abuse of power, she has had to admit that more than 2 dozen contacts were made between her staff and family to the person that she later fired, pressuring him to fire her ex-brother-in-law. She tried to replace the man she fired with a man who she knew had been reprimanded for sexual harassment; when this caused a public furor, she withdrew her support.

She has bitten the hand of every person who extended theirs to her in help. The City Council person who personally escorted her around town introducing her to voters when she first ran for Wasilla City Council became one of her first targets when she was later elected Mayor. She abruptly fired her loyal City Administrator; even people who didn't like the guy were stunned by this ruthlessness.

Fear of retribution has kept all of these people from saying anything publicly about her.

When then-Governor Murkowski was handing out political plums, Sarah got the best, Chair of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission: one of the few jobs not in Juneau and one of the best paid. She had no background in oil & gas issues. Within months of scoring this great job which paid $122,400/yr, she was complaining in the press about the high salary. I was told that she hated that job: the commute, the structured hours, the work. Sarah became aware that a member of this Commission (who was also the State Chair of the Republican Party) engaged in unethical behavior on the job. In a gutsy move which some undoubtedly cautioned her could be political suicide, Sarah solved all her problems in one fell swoop: got out of the job she hated and garnered gobs of media attention as the patron saint of ethics and as a gutsy fighter against the "old boys' club" when she dramatically quit, exposing this man's ethics violations (for which he was fined).

As Mayor, she had her hand stuck out as far as anyone for pork from Senator Ted Stevens. Lately, she has castigated his pork-barrel politics and publicly humiliated him. She only opposed the "bridge to nowhere" after it became clear that it would be unwise not to.

As Governor, she gave the Legislature no direction and budget guidelines, then made a big grandstand display of line-item vetoing projects, calling them pork. Public outcry and further legislative action restored most of these projects--which had been vetoed simply because she was not aware of their importance--but with the unobservant she had gained a reputation as "anti-pork".

She is solidly Republican: no political maverick. The State party leaders hate her because she has bit them in the back and humiliated them. Other members of the party object to her self-description as a fiscal conservative.

Around Wasilla there are people who went to high school with Sarah. They call her "Sarah Barracuda" because of her unbridled ambition and predatory ruthlessness. Before she became so powerful, very ugly stories circulated around town about shenanigans she pulled to be made point guard on the high school basketball team. When Sarah's mother-in-law, a highly respected member of the community and experienced manager, ran for Mayor, Sarah refused to endorse her.

As Governor, she stepped outside of the box and put together of package of legislation known as "AGIA" that forced the oil companies to march to the beat of her drum.

Like most Alaskans, she favors drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. She has questioned if the loss of sea ice is linked to global warming. She campaigned "as a private citizen" against a state initiaitive that would have either a) protected salmon streams from pollution from mines, or b) tied up in the courts all mining in the state (depending on who you listen to). She has pushed the State's lawsuit against the Dept. of the Interior's decision to list polar bears as threatened species.

McCain is the oldest person to ever run for President; Sarah will be a heartbeat away from being President.

There has to be literally millions of Americans who are more knowledgeable and experienced than she.

However, there's a lot of people who have underestimated her and are regretting it.

My New Home

2008-09-03T10:48:00.001-07:00

I have lost the inspiration to blog, so I'm going to take a break.

I THINK I'll TRY TO UPDATE ONCE A WEEK

However, since I don't feel like blogging, I don't think I need to pay to host a vanity site anymore, so I'm going to move things here and let the other site go.

I have dreams

2008-08-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

crazy dreams...

that's okay, most of them are very enjoyable...

Last night's dream was a combination of Mama Mia (the movie) and an Alec Baldwin flick. Naturally at this point I don't remember all the details, but the gist of the dream was that there was this younger son, that everyone in his family was concerned that he might be working too much and not taking time for the real things in life that mattered.

In my dream, the father had spent all of his time working, and it effected not only the relationship of the son, but of his brothers and his wife, so much so that the wife (the son's mother) was still harboring some resentment.

Now in the dream, every once in awhile every broke into some ridiculous song and was dance routine (like in Mama Mia), but it flowed seamlessly. Alec Baldwin (the younger version) was one of the uncles that was constantly checking in with the son and the rest of the family to make sure that each of them were taking time to be real with their family.

the dream goes on and on, nothing heavy, but at the very end, when they are doing a celebration of some type for the mother, the son, had reproduced a photo of the father as a young man as a present for his mother.

This photo is a picture of his father from a war zone/landing that his father was one of only 5 survivors, and that the father had seen his fellow soldiers killed in three separate landings on this same beach.

In my dream the only one who knew what this picture meant was the mother.

The whole point of this dream (to me) is how someone can chose to love you, even when you have not shared your most traumatic events (or darkest secrets) with them.

Even though that secret changes us, people are still able to love us not knowing our secrets, that they are still able to find something in us to love.

AN OBSERVATION

2008-08-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full time job, and we should treat it like one.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice.

There should be severance pay, & the day before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."

Yawn

2008-08-19T15:26:00.000-07:00

It was an uneventful weekend, actually now that I think about it, it wasn’t.

And that reminds me why I started blogging; so that when people asked me I would not have to say “nothing”.

I could say do you read my blog? Or I could read it myself and remember. Maybe the act of blogging helps you remember.

Anyway, last Saturday we had a nice couple over from church. They live in the same housing complex as us, and I think Jerry went to one of the same classes (at church) that Cowboy did.

I made Stacked Chicken Enchiladas with Mushroom Crostini’s as appetizers. We don’t really socialize with them, but when we are walking the dog, we tend to run into them while they are taking a walk after dinner, so over time, you get to talking to them and finally we decided to have them over for dinner.

I ended up cooking all day, not that I was cooking all day, but since I made everything from scratch (except for the cheese), there is lots of chopping and of course clean the house, do some maintenance in the yard, etc. I was pretty busy.

Dinner was nice, and I’m sure we will have them over again.

-

Sunday, we went to San Francisco, the Castro, to do some shopping, and play “Whom would you do?”

The game is played like this; you go to a bar that has a central point where people are walking back and forth, and then as they go by, you say to your partner or the person you are playing with, “Would you do him?”

I know it seems like turns people into pieces of meat, but I think it is a harmless game.

I know that people are really based on how they act, react etc., that is what really turns me on.

-

On another note, I developed a rash, that has slowly taken over my body, it is not a hideous rash ((Cowboy could not even find it at first, by sight or touch)) that is disfiguring, just an itchy rash that is driving me crazy. At first I thought is was just from working out, but after it not going away and getting worse over a couple of days.

I thought it was from my drugs, so I looked up the side effects and come to find out a rash is one of the side effects (so is depression), and it said, to call the doctor right away if a rash develops, (or if you feel like committing suicide) but after going to the doctor, he thinks it isn't that, that I have a virus that is causing it.

Anyway, all I can do for it, is take Benydrl and Claritin, dust myself with Gold Bond medicated powder, and take soothing baths in Aveeno. All that is for the Itch, the rash itself just has to work its way out of my system.

A passing glance

2008-08-16T12:46:00.000-07:00

You glanced my way, and I caught you looking, what was it you were looking at I wondered?

More importantly why?

What did you want, if anything? Were you just comparing bodies like all guys in the gym do, or was something else on your mind?

At first, I thought it was just that straight guy checking out the muscles, where one wonders, are my muscles bigger than yours?

But you kept looking, always looking away when I looked in your direction.

I caught your eyes a couple of times, maybe holding them a bit too long before you looked away, but I did not nod or smile. I thought you noticed that I was looking too, but maybe you didn’t think that I was looking at you. I hope I didn’t make you uncomfortable.

You don’t have as many muscles as the guys I’m usually interested in, but I could see the hair on your chest peaking out from underneath your white tank top. I could see that you had some definition, that your belly was smaller than mine, perhaps it was the age difference. How old are you, 26-32 or older perhaps, I hope not younger?

As I worked out, I looked over every once in awhile, and you were still taking glances now and then, too often for me to think that you were straight.

That made me think, about your body, that your pecs would feel nice under my hands. I had a hard time trying to see your legs, as your shorts went all the way to your knees, so it was hard to tell what your thighs would have felt like.

But I liked the way your shorts draped over the curves of your ass, I wondered if it was hairy or smooth. What would it be like to rest my head on the plumpness of it, perhaps while you were reading?

What would it feel like to feel your body underneath mine?

Just thoughts,

Just glances traded back and forth...

Making me smile.

2008-08-15T12:49:00.000-07:00

One of the great joys in my life is our little pug, though she is getting old and doesn’t walk as well as she used to, her enthusiasm in the morning for her breakfast brings a smile to my face each time.

Each morning at 6:30, before the alarm clock goes off, she sits up and starts to make little grunting noises, she slips in a sniff now and then, and if too much time goes by without movement from our bed, she gets up and sits by the door. She continues the sound effects, getting a little louder as time goes by, and if I do not respond by a certain time, she walks over to Cowboy’s side of the bed and starts to make her noises over there.

Most of the time, some movement on my part will keep her on my side of the bed. Usually I hold out my hand, point to her bed and mumble “five minutes”, and she will climb back into bed, with a sign and wait sitting up, for 2 minutes, then she will head back to the door.

When I get out of bed, if I don’t put my robe or pajama bottoms on fast enough, she will lunge for my feet like she is going to bite me, but most of the time, she just chases her tail, until I reach the door, then she heads down the stairs, stopping at the landing to make sure that I am following her.

Next we open the door, so she can go for her morning pee, she looks back to make sure you’re watching, because she wants her breakfast, and if she doesn’t need to pee (to get her breakfast), she won’t.

Then she runs as fast as her little legs will carry her (almost like she is flying) to her food bowl, and If I haven’t made it there yet, she stops to give a twirl, and then she waits for me to place her food in her bowl, I then change her water.

After she is done with her breakfast, she will walk slowly back into the kitchen to she if Dad dropped anything, which is kinda funny because she cant see it. If we do drop something we have to point it out to her.

Then I look at her and say “potty?” If she needs to go out again, she will head for the door, if not she looks at you like you are a dummy. Then I say “okay” and she takes off running for the living room, where she gets to sit on my lap while I reflect on my life and the gratitude I feel for the people in it, until Cowboy gets up.

When he comes downstairs, sometimes I have fallen asleep, and when he gets his coffee Toshi will climb up onto the arm of the chair, while I get up and Cowboy takes my place, she will then lie down in his lap and go back to sleep.

On the weekends the routine is the same, except on Saturday she will allow me to sleep until seven.

I've been Away

2008-08-14T15:23:00.000-07:00

Not really away, just don’t feel like posting, to tell you the truth, I’m depressed.

It always starts, when I get back from the ride (AIDS LIFECYCLE), it is just an amazing thing, that I have a hard time getting back to my own real world, and it (my) set of problems.

The reality is, that my problems are just ordinary, no big deal sort of problems; why aren’t my muscles growing as fast as I want, why can’t I manage my money better, why don’t people answer their emails as fast as I want, why didn’t I answer that email yet.

Stupid things, well not stupid, but considering what goes on in the rest of the world, nothing to really bitch about.

I also worry about, things like, how come I can’t write as well as that guy from Blue Alto, or how about that Tater guy? Things like my grammar sucks. I need to finish that art piece I have been working on for (going on) two years now, and the new ones I’m working on, I just cant get the guy’s nose right, and I’m afraid to screw it up

Of course I have money problems (minor) like most people, I would love a new car, a new house, etc etc.

The reality is, I don’t need any of those thing, and when I had all that stuff, it just caused more problems, like when I used to loan my Porsche to a buddy, and then I would get so upset when he did not clean his crap out of it after he borrowed it. Well I can’t afford 3 cars now, so I don’t have to worry about loaning it out, or saying no.

To tell you the truth, while I have been away, I got addicted to Facebook and the silly games that they seduce you with. I’m worth 16 million in Owned a photo buying game, I’m a level 14 “outlaw” in Space Raiders, I also have a new puppy, and a knighthood, a city, Super Poked and Showered with my other pals.

Time I get back to my real life. (and Blogging)

Old as dirt

2008-08-08T17:34:00.000-07:00

Well not quite that old, but getting up there…

Last weekend we went away to Sea Ranch, my oldest brother and his wife, their daughter and her husband, my sister and her boyfriend, and my brother Marvelous joined us

We went up Thursday afternoon, most of the family came to our place in Santa Rosa first and we caravanned up together. The way we drive up to Sea Ranch is out along the Russian River to Jenner, then up the coast to Sea Ranch through Fort Ross, Salt Point State Park, and Stewart’s Point.

If you’re not in a hurry, it is a nice drive, if you are in a hurry, well you really need to go to Sea Ranch and rest, cell phones don’t work there.

Internet Access is about the speed of dial-up, well unless you have a satellite, but most houses don’t. So you might check your email if you really have to, but it is nice to just be able to get away from it all.

We had great weather while we were there, clear with no fog, but Cowboy got a real bad sunburn, so his trip was not a nice as it should have been.

I had another Hobbit Birthday, so I got everyone gifts and cooked dinner. We started off with Wild Mushroom crostini, followed by crab cakes, then we had for dinner Filet Mignon with a red wine reduction sauce, salad and deep-fried risotto. I made for desert 12 Layer Chocolate Cake – It was not a low calorie weekend.

-

I know, no posts recently – I just haven’t felt like writing – I don’t think I’ve quit, just running dry for the moment.

I’ve been having too much fun on “My Space”, no I don’t use it for cruising, but I am involved (heavily… it’s like a drug… in the application called “OWNED”, which is an online shopping application, where you buy and sell photos (for the most profit, your own photos)

It’s also a way for my to keep in contact with most of my cycling buddies, without sending, reading email.

It is almost time to start training again. – First training class in Sept.

Black Death

2008-07-16T15:10:00.000-07:00

The bubonic plague or the pneumonic plague... no I don't have either one, but I've been sick, just a little cold.

The black death killed one third of the human population on China, Asia, India, Europe and Northern Africa in sixteen years from 1334 to 1350.

The Black Death was both of those plagues hitting at the same time. The bubonic plague causes swollen black lymph nodes and kills its victims in about 5 days, it was carried by rats and fleas. The pneumonic plague was also spread by rats and fleas with humans being able to transmit it as well, in the same way as the common cold, it killed its victims even faster within 3 days or as little as 24 hours.

Anyway, I'm better now, thanks for asking...

THIS WEEK

2008-07-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

It was a grand and glorious weekend – Well I’m talking about the 4th of July so I had to slip the grand and glorious in.

Now for some trivia – The Declaration of Independence was actually voted on and approved on the 2nd of July, The document was then rewritten and the final draft approved on July 4th and sent to the printer.

The document that we think of as the Declaration of Independence, was hand written and signed on July 19th The bulk of the signatures came later, on August 2nd, 1776

The first public reading of the Document happened on July 8th at Independence Hall.

Congress was going to celebrate the 2nd as “Independence Day”, but did not remember until July 3rd 1777, and so celebrated the first celebration of Independence Day on July 4th, 1777.

So what did I do over the 4th of July Weekend? Well first it was clean the garage, which I never get enough time in there to do it the way I want to do it, because it would just take too long, to reorganize everything the way I want to, but I did get all the cobwebs swept out.

We then went shopping, I for some plaid shorts at the Gap, size 31 waist, which are still too big. I guess the diet has been working. Bought some other nic-nacs, paddy wac, give a dog a bone.

Saturday, we went to barbecue in the East Bay, saw my relatives, HI FOLKS! Had a good time, and then came home again, it was nice not to have to drive all the way to the South Bay.

Sunday, we worked in the yard some, and then looked at houses again. We found one that we really liked and are looking at financing right now, getting reports, cleaning up around the house, throwing old stuff away just in case we will be moving soon.

The Upside of Anger?

2008-07-11T15:11:00.000-07:00

I was watching a movie last night on TV while I was reading a book. I do that sometimes, and it drives Cowboy and my sister nuts, but I like to do that if I’m not that interested in the movie or that interested in the book.

The book if you want to know, well the chapter I was reading was about how the Electoral College works, so though it is fascinating, I was not that interested in it.

The movie though, was about this woman, who is anger and bitter, mainly because she thinks her husband left her without warning or notice. Her anger and bitterness colors all of her relationships with any new men in her family, as well as her relationships with her daughters, and their relationships with men as well.

At the very end of the movie she discovers during the process of selling off some unused property that in fact, her husband did not leave her, but rather died when he fell down an old water shaft on that unused property.

She realizes that she has allowed her anger and bitterness of being abandoned, to color her entire life and that she was not abandoned at all, she was wrong. ((The movies does not address the guilt she might felt about her husband dying all alone))

One time I had a boyfriend, that I was warned that when he decided to breakup with someone, he just stopped calling, didn’t return phone calls, etc ((well two times that happened)). Because I was warned, I was able to just let go. Sure I was curious, but I knew that I was not going to get any answers from him.

I think sometimes, we as people can make assumptions about why something is, we can really work ourselves up wanting closure. Sometimes we want to force an answer out of whomever, does that serves us? I don’t know.

How many times have you been told it not you it’s me? And do you go away feeling like you were told the truth? Or someone was just being polite?

Do we make assumptions based on what we think is the truth? Do we allow our anger or bitterness to color our whole relationship with the people around us?

STROKE IT!

2008-07-02T15:13:00.000-07:00

Caress it, take it in your hands and handle it gently.

I’m talking about pet peeves of course. ((of course, I would be calmer if I didn’t let these things bother me))

My favorite pet peeves are:

1. When someone walks all the way to the door and can’t decide to go in or out, blocking it for others folks while they try to decide.

2. When someone walks up to the fax machine, looks at it, sees that nothing is on it and then asks, “Did a fax for me come?

3. When someone is looking for paperwork, makes all sorts of noise while looking for the paper-work, so you finally say “Write me a note about what your looking for and I’ll find it for you” and they reply, “I don’t want to bother you” then they proceed to ask all sorts of questions about where the paperwork might be filed.

4. When someone (who can drive in the commute lane, fast lane or the slow lane) drives slowly in the fast car lane, instead of moving over to the slow lane.

5. When you get an email from an old friend, asking if this email address is correct, you reply " yes" and ask them how they are doing etc, and you never hear from them again.

Movie Time

2008-07-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

Star Wars

Sex & the City

Gay Pride

2008-06-30T15:43:00.000-07:00

Sure I'm feeling pride...

and though we are just a short hop, skip and a jump....

and an hour car ride away from the city... we decided not to go and celebrate Pride with the 1 million or so folks in the city...

So what did we do to celebrate Gay Pride...

well, Gay Sex of course...

Happy Pride Folks!

I have nothing to say

2008-06-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Nothing on my mind right now, no words to share.

So I think I will post some pictures from the ride.

- But FIRST a video from last year - highlighting events from the ride

A video from ALC 6, which was last years ride

-
Some pictures form this year's ride

a picture from inside the Cow Palace - Opening ceremonies - in the corner of the picture is a cycling helmet with Wonder Woman on it, My Friend Emily's helmet

A partial shot of our sleeping quarters - Tent City

Our luggage trucks - every morning we load our luggage and our tents back in the trucks, and then we unload them at the end of the day in our new location and put our tents back up.

SUPERFRIENDS - we all have action figures on the tops of our cycling helmets - here we are unmasked
I was Green Lantern - it did not match my bike

My Friend Beau - His action figure is Animal Man - he had to have a Super Hero that matched his bike

My Friend John - His action figure is Superman - and his Superman matches his bike too, which is black & red

the ever present porta-potties - what funny is when you first use them you feel funny because you don't flush them - but when you get home you have to remember your not using a porta-potty anymore.

here am I standing in front of the Rock of Morro Bay - I had to stop just for a picture to send my friend KIM

this was RestStop4 the 4th and Final Rest Stop of each day - they go over the top to present new themes - that entertain and delight us.

the First Rest stop of RED DRESS DAY - it starts out, of course when people leave their tents in the morning and then we laugh all the day long...

Me in my Red Dress - I bought it at Ross two years ago, last year I wore red arm warmers and gloves but this year I thought I'd dress it up a bit, with white gloves, arm-warmers and pearls - I threw it away when I was done with it this year.

My Friend Luis and I, He had a red tutto on, which you can not see in this shot

And some others go all out - do themes with their friends - I think these are the St Pauli Girls

and sometimes action figures and movie characters come to life - Meet the Incredibles

Some people surprise other friends with recognition of their incredible feats - here they are recognizing and congratulating David Duncan for his tenth ride - that is my head sticking out

The Incredible Rest Stop 4 again - this is our version of Studio 54 - notice Andy Warhol on the Left

And well - here is an example of how well we can read after seven days on the bike

-
and now another video from last year

and then a video from a roadies point of view

Not Saying a Word

2008-06-25T15:47:00.000-07:00

I’m a quiet guy, most of the time. I don’t always say what is on my mind. I used to figure that saying nothing would make “it” better.

What ever “it” was.

I think this nature of mine comes from my upbringing. My mother ((stepmother#1)) was the type of person, who just started her tirade all over again if you argued with her or interrupted her.

My Dad tended to be the type that just ignored what you said, such as if I was helping him in the garage working on something, and I saw what he was doing wrong - putting something together, such as a lawn mower that he had taken apart – he would just ignore me if I suggested that it would fit if he just turned it over.

Almost everyone in my life “knew” the correct way of doing whatever “it” was.

So at some point I just stopped talking. I think I stopped listening too. I became very isolated and withdrawn.

I was still involved with the things I was interested in, but I often did not share my feelings. I don’t think it helped that at about the same time an older brother and younger sister left home. There was much more going on than I ever knew, and theirs lives were very different than mine.

-

Still life goes on, and we slowly become whom we are. If we are able, we forgive and forget and learn and embrace that sometimes, people did the best that they knew how.

I slowly discovered who I was, a Spiritual Gay Man, and eventually the truth of who I was became more important than who my parents wanted me to be, so I came out. Slowly over the years, I have become closer to my family, and I love them even more than before.

-

I used to have this idea, that when two people were trying to decide to go to a movie, that if I said “I don’t care which movie we go to see”, that it meant I had a credit in the “ bank” for when there was a movie that I really wanted to see.

It took a friend to point out that “ I don’t care” means “I don’t care”.

-

Slowly I learned that I have to tell people what I want every time, and though that doesn’t mean I will get it, but at least they know what I want.

-

So what is this all about? – Just something I need to get off my chest.

Over a year ago, a friend came to my house, this friend, like most of my friends is opinionated. Now for a little history – We have known each other for many years, and over the years I learned to disagree with him, and he would sometimes call me up and ask “if I was mad at him” I was never mad, for I knew that he had his opinion and I had mine.

However, the last time he was at my house, he said things that were out of line. A year earlier, he was all most killed by a drunken driver, and when he was here, he had too much to drink, was impatient and did not wait his turn at the stop sign and ran into a motorcycle rider and passenger.

Thankfully he did not hurt anyone, however when he got back to my house, he then proceeded to get drunk, and because he was drunk, he said things to me that I felt were his projections of my relations with my family. ((concerning my relationship with my father, my old business, various religious beliefs of my family))

I told him he was drunk and to go to bed, his reply was “If you agree with me, don’t say anything, otherwise let’s keep talking about it."

Well I don’t argue with drunken people, usually I don’t allow them in my house. So he went to bed, he left the next morning and we haven’t talked since.

-

Cowboy said, “Your not the same person he knew so many years ago, you're more confident in yourself, you work out, you’re happy”

-

I guess, I expected him to call up and apologize at some point, not for his thoughts, for he is entitled to his thoughts, but for the fact that he was drunk, that he expressed them in such a way, that he was drunk driving, and that he verbally attacked my family.

Well, life doesn’t happen that way you think it should sometimes, and I guess that I really don’t need people in my life that can’t apologize for the hurt they have caused other people.

Do I miss him? Sure, but I don’t need that kind of drama in my life. – So life goes on, and I’m a little sadder, for I had hoped that he would be the kind of person that could listen. That our years of friendship would mean something to him.

I’m sure you could ask, “Don’t the years of friendship meant something to me?”

Well, yes they do, but sometimes we have to let go of things that do not allow ourselves to grow, to change. And I no longer am willing to let someone verbally abuse me.

Im Voting Republican too

2008-06-20T15:49:00.000-07:00

Community

2008-06-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite reads is Moby – He says what is on his mind, and he does so in a manner that is refreshing and respectful - this week he is talking about Community - Go there to read more if you wish.

It got me thinking about myself however, and how I live my life, and also how some of my friends live their lives. In my church, we have a saying, “ If you want to be loved, then go and love someone” In other words you only get what you give.

I feel like a lot of times that I’m not part of a community, but when I think about it. I must admit that if I don’t feel part of a community, it is because of my own actions.

Some examples of the things I do are;
I don’t comment on every one’s blogs that I read.
When on a bicycle ride, I don’t talk to everyone that might be on the same ride.
I don’t call people on the phone and talk to them, ask them how they are.

I starting riding in the Aids-Lifecycle as doing something that was giving to others, it brought me great rewards, but though I was now part of this “community” I still felt a disconnect, so I became a Training Ride Leader.

This required more giving on my part, more of my time, more of my knowledge, more of my heart. And, so my rewards were greater. I received back in return more love and more gratitude. And I discover, the more I give, the more I get back.

On one of the rides, a rider came up to me, and said, “What is you TRLs do, no one is talking to me. – I wanted to say – We are not your social club, we are here to train you. But cooler heads prevailed, and we gently guided him into introducing himself to the people around him, and then checked in with him, to make sure he was putting himself out there. Sometimes I forget that THE RIDE is about the people we help, that THE RIDE, only works because of the love that is THE RIDE.

This also happens at Church (and many other social functions) people tend to think that if they show up that is good enough, no, you have to interact, you have to talk and listen.

I’m good at the listening part, and that is important, especially if you can listen (not thinking of what you are going to say next), but one must say what is on your mind, hopefully in a respectful manner.

If you are outspoken, but think you have no friends, it might be how you express yourself. Sometimes people get tired of all the drama.

Sometimes, I want more interaction, but in reality, I’m pretty busy doing my own thing, so it boils down to, I make my own decisions about where I want to spend my time, though if I didn’t have to work…

I’d be traveling, visiting, commenting on everyone’s blogs, going on longer bike rides, doing more gardening, painting more.

So I Got Tagged

2008-06-16T15:51:00.000-07:00

By that friend of mine Al who is sadistic and mean, he knows I’m brain dead right now, and now If I’m going to answer this I have to think. We can just forget witty that is just not me. However these are my answers. Should I tag some one? Hmm… nah.

Does someone love you?

Yes, I know it, I feel it, I embrace it, I relish it. And he of course is Cowboy

Do you know anyone named Dave?

I have known a couple of Daves, but I don’t know anyone right now who goes by Dave – I do know a David.

Ever kissed anyone with the name starting with a J?

We are talking about kissing, not some sweet little harmless peck on the cheek right? –

Well I used to date Jeff, the Sex was awesome and he did a layout for Men (I still have the issue somewhere) last time I saw him, he was saying to a friend of mine (I was in the restroom) “ Not only did he tear my heart out of my chest, he threw it on the ground and stomped all over it” – I’m sure he was talking about when I told him we could not have sex anymore, because the lust I felt for his body was confusing me about how I felt for us as a couple.

He was more of a big city limo guy, while I was more of a country boy. I also dated a James, but that was not the name he went by.

Has anyone ever mistaken you for a family member?

Not that I know of, but some people thought some friends and I were brothers.

What color is your parents bathroom

I think it is a light blue, I should know this because I did some touch-up painting when I re-hung my Step-mom’s curtains (3 times) she kept moving them ((I called my Dad, and he said it was pale yellow, then he went and checked - it''s a pale lavender))

Do you think that hair extensions look skanky?

Haven’t really thought about it, but toupees do.

Are you named after a grandparent?

Nope, all of are named “M” – my real name is Matthew, but if I every change it I want to name myself after my grandpa on my Dad’s side – I didn’t know my mom’s parents

Say you were given a drug test right now. Would you pass or fail?

Pass

Are you taller than 5'6"?

by 2.75 inches (on a good day)

Do you know anyone in jail/prison?

Nope, but I know people who have been.

Ever see a dead body?

Yep, too many

Do you like the color green?

I dislike the color green – I was in the Army for 8 years, fatigues were all green then, and when I was a kid working at a hamburger joint, we painted all of the shelves a pale green, I was small enough to fit in the shelves, to reach way in the corners, breathing those fumes and seeing nothing but green, makes me not care for it.

What is your best friend’s Dad’s name?

Bill

How old are you?

51, going on 52.

Who was the last person to send you a text message?

AT & T

Ever drove into the ghetto to buy drugs?

No, I have my drugs delivered. - Though I used to deliver Marijuana for a suburban housewife from Palo Alto - sort of like "Weeds"

Last restaurant you went to?

Sake O – I had Spicy Shrimp & Sake of course

What is the weather like today?

Clear & Sunny, though not warm enough.

Last voice mail you received?

It would be from my brother Marvelous

What did you do yesterday?

Made Tequila & Lime Shrimp for a Father’s Day barbeque

What’s the first thing you would do with five million dollars?

Run away with Tater. – he is sexy and I like the way he writes (ha ha, nope, I'm just giving All a bad time) Your fibbing are you? I’d give half of it to Cowboy, and then buy myself a new car – a Mini-Cooper Convertible is the car of the week.

What nationalities are you?

Spanish & Italian is what I’m going to say – the family debate is still going on.

How many hours did you sleep for last night?

Probably about 5, I tried for six, but I spent an hour listening to Cowboy snore. It used to bother the hell out of me, but then I decided to focus on how much he loves me. Now if I can only get him to stop kicking me in his sleep.

Any upcoming concerts you want to attend?

Bette Midler

Who’s the last person that you felt was stalking you?

Anthony, a cute 27 year old from New York, who I met on the ride and he instantly got the hots for me. I think he wanted me to do him in my tent. – Well actually he did., but I didn’t.

Have you ever been on your school’s track team

Nope, running is not my thing.

What jewelry are you wearing?

A watch my Dad gave me, a copper bracelet that Cowboy bought for me, and a wedding ring

If all of your friends were going on a road trip, would you?

Sure, I’m open to going places, doesn’t matter where. (if I can get the time off)

How much money do you have?

Enough for my needs, enough for my true desires, enough to give gifts to those I care about, not enough to give every place and everyone my heart desires, not enough to indulge my every senseless desire, not enough to spend on those who will not do for themselves.

Do you swear at your parents?

Nope, not ever, not even under my breath.

Is your phone right beside you?

My cell phone is glued to my hip

Have you cried today?

I have cried about 14 times today, reading the discussion boards for the AIDS-Lifecycle, the thanks and heartfelt good wishes from the riders to the roadies and the roadies to the riders, people sharing why they rode, the people they wish to remember.

Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?

Sure

Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?

I don’t untie my shoes until I need to put them back on. When going out I wear Cowboy boots.

What is the color of your bed sheets?

Champagne, 1500 thread count – but I actually bought them for Cowboy, he is into sheets. I like dark colors, he likes light.

Have you ever crawled through a window?

When I was young, my bedroom was on the second floor, I would often forget my keys, so I d get the ladder out of our orchard and set it up against the house and crawl in my bedroom window – then go downstairs, unlock the door and put the ladder away

Are you photogenic?

Sometimes I am surprised when someone takes a photo I like, but I aint no model.

What’s your star sign?
Leo

Where do you spend most of your money?

Rent and car payments

What was the last thing you did?

Unlike a certain someone I’m not going to say “ Pressed "Enter" after writing the last answer. – I‘ll say looked outside at the hunky blond number who is installing carpet in the brand new apartments next door

Do you have a tattoo?

On my left tricep/bicep - an Arthame floating on a Sun

Is there a secret you’ve never told any of your friends?

Yes – and it is going to remain a secret.

Have you ever told someone you loved them but didn’t mean it?

Yes,

Have you ever changed your clothes while in a vehicle?

Yes I have, I think, no actually I think I said, screw this, and stepped outside of the vehicle. I have changed my clothes in a tank however.

What are you doing in 2008?

Blogging, painting, riding a bike.

What is your ring tone?

Like my Red dress - Classic

What were you doing at 2am last night?

Sleeping

Are your parents married/divorced/separated?

My dad was divorced once, wife two (Step Mom #1) is dead, he is remarried again. My Mom never remarried. My step mom (#1 Step mom) was married 8 times before she married my dad. They were married 34 years before she died.

What are you doing tonight?

Cuddling – our code word for sex.

What are you doing tomorrow?

Cuddling – our code word for sex.

Who did you last message on Myspace?

Andrew – if I have Myspace – I forget these things

What’s your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?

Great! If you can do it, lots of people can’t

Does it annoy you when someone says they’ll call but never do?

It doesn’t annoy me, more likes disappoints me.

What did you dress up as for your first Halloween?

I have no idea.

Favorite Disney movie?

Disney's Emmy-winning update of Rodgers and Hammerstein's classic fairy tale, Cinderella (Brandy) believes in the impossible, and not even a wicked stepmother and stepsisters can keep her from her prince. Whitney Houston as the fairy godmother heads an all-star cast that includes Paolo Montalban, Bernadette Peters, Whoopi Goldberg and Jason Alexander.

Feel free to add your answers to any and all questions on your own site, or in the comments.

Experience the Ride!

2008-06-13T15:52:00.000-07:00

7 Days on a bike condensed down to 7 minutes

View from my Handlebars from littlesteph on Vimeo.

Why I ride

2008-06-11T15:53:00.000-07:00

The Ride is done

2008-06-09T15:54:00.000-07:00

at least for another year...

We now rest, slowly unpacking and returning to our old lives that we might have forgotten...

We slowly become accustomed to regular toilets and showers again, learning to start cooking for ourselves and not having to get completely dressed to use the bathroom in the middle of night.

We clean our bikes, and think back at the days when we hated it... groaning every time we had to get back on it and ride to the next rest stop... getting used to eating indoors again, and our legs not groaning from riding day after day...

Slowly we pick back up our lives, looking at TV, and checking our email... we send out thank you and congratulations to roadies and our fellow riders - new friends that we met on the ride, we start to type up thank you letters and notes to send to our donors.

We upload our camera's into our computers and wonder why I didn't take as many photos I wanted, or why I took so damn many...

We laugh and cry, remembering moments that were personal, send emails to friends asking about people who were hurt on the ride, hoping that they are okay.

We wonder, some of us, will we do this again next year? and if we don't what about the year after that?

For some of us, one year is enough, for others, they never feel really alive unless they can connect to this big family of love that we call the Life-Cycle.

So we join the discussion boards and plan rides together, and once again we start to plan next year's red dress.

Training season starts in five months, and the ride does not end until AIDS does.

Day 7 - Ventura to Los Angeles

2008-06-07T15:56:00.000-07:00

it is the last day, bittersweet, sweet because finally you get to get off that damn bike! Bitter, because this incredible community is done for another year.

The last day, we pack our tents one last time, and get on the road, you have made new friends, though some of them you won't see them again until next year, some you will see on training rides.

when we roll out there is relief, because it is the last day of riding, but there is a quietness too, for the sorrow of the parting that is to come at the end of this day...

At this time I want to thank all my fellow riders, thank you for the encouragement up each and every damn hill. I want to thank all the roadies for all the hard work , and support that you give us the makes this ride physically and emotionally possible.

I want to thank my spouse Cowboy, for being there, for putting up with me being gone on all my training rides and the incessant chatter about rides and bikes.

Most of all I want to thank my Donors - you made a difference this day - I may have rode, but you saved lives

Day 6 – Lompoc to Ventura

2008-06-06T15:57:00.000-07:00

Red Dress day is over, some folks just throw their dresses away afterward, some are packed away, and some go to Goodwill.

Now get up and ride!
Day 6 is upon us.

Pack up your tent, and get on your clothes for this day’s ride. It will be cold in the morning like it always is, so arm warmers are the rule, maybe leg warmers too. Later if it gets warmer you stash them in the back of your jersey.

We head out from the Campsite on a back road that is between Highways 246 & Highway 1 – we ride for miles, slight upgrade and subtle down slopes, it all meshes together, finally we each rest stop 1.

Then we have a hill to climb, always after a rest stop we have a hill to climb that just the way it is. However after this hill, the down slope is a long one, and we ride until we reach the coast. Would be really nice, but we are on the Highway and picking up speed, the crazies pass “let them go I say” I’m all about getting there in 1 piece.

Finally we are at the coast and I can relax. We ride right on the highway there is wide shoulder here that are built just for riding bikes, it is great, though a little bit cold. Being the beach I want it to be warmer, after all that’s what us Northern California boys hear all the time, about the southern California beaches and how nice it is.

So we ride, into rest stop 2, it's on the beach, but the last two years it was chilly so I don’t stay long, I’m not tempted to get in the water. I’m all about getting on the bike and riding.

Somewhere before Santa Barbara, we head inland to our lunch spot. And we dine in the park, tables, which we haven’t had much of on this ride (for lunch) are abundant as well as regular rest rooms, oh we still have port-potties just in case you are missing them.

We have ministers, Drag queens, muscle boys, Dykes on bikes, heavy folk, old folk, skinny folk basically from every walk of life, and we all just love each other for what we are doing, and what it means. Last year, Beau’s partner’s parents showed up (he died of AIDS the year before) and I think all the riders and the fact that 60% were straight overwhelmed them.

After lunch we head back to the coast & Santa Barbara. Here it gets nicer, not real warm yet (in my experience) But, still it is awesome, the views and the houses. It is not hard to imagine living here on the coast. It is a nice ride, though one must watch for cars, as it seems the more expensive the car, the less the driver pays attention to their surroundings.

Going through town is a series of up & down hills, though none are really considered hills, just climbs, not the rollers, which I like, but a series of up and downs separated by stoplights.

Some people stop for coffee, and the like, but I’m always wanting to ride ahead for the free ice cream that is on the other side of Santa Barbara. I don’t eat ice cream very much, but while on the ride I can eat as much as I want, and it’s free. The city of Santa Barbara and an ice cream shop generously donate it.

After that , yes you guessed it, back on the bike once again, I always look for the Channel Islands when we are on the coast, but most of the time the fog prevents me from seeing them. Soon we arrive in Ventura, oh there is more sidewalk riding and the like before we get there, but the Candlelight ceremony on Ventura State Beach is the highlight of Day 6.

After we get into camp, and turn in our bikes, go to the hotel (I am always ready for a hotel on Day six and Cowboy is always there on day six) then eat dinner, we return to the campsite for the candlelight ceremony.

The Candlelight ceremony, first they turn off the camp generators and lights, then they hand all 2500 riders and 500 roadies a candle, then we all process to the beach in silent procession, lighting our candles as we enter the beach. Then we have a maybe a hour of silence (it takes that long for us all to get on the beach)

You have that time; to be alone with your thoughts, your thoughts of your loved ones, your lost ones, and thoughts for any friends that are living with AIDS – you have time to reflect on what you have done, what difference you are making in someone’s life, that maybe you saved someone’s life this week, that maybe you prevented someone from getting sick and dieing, that maybe you made helped pay for someone’s drugs this year.

Then we blow out our candles and return to camp to sleep. Tomorrow we ride again

Day 5 – Santa Maria to Lompoc

2008-06-05T15:58:00.000-07:00

Red Dress Day

Yes I said Red Dress.

It started out as dress “red” day, but well, you know queens, it became “Red Dress Day”

There is this hill, that at the top if you look down, when you see the riders working their way up the hill it looks like a ribbon, so we thought if we all dressed red it would look like a red ribbon. So it was born.

-

Now, go to bed, sleep and in the morning, everyone in camp coming out of their tents in red dresses, you laugh to see what outrageous items people are wearing. Some people have grouped together and have themes, like cheerleaders or the Minnie Mouse’s (Mice), some have long evening gowns. Even the roadies at the trucks and breakfast have red on. Even Ben, who only wears black, wears red this day, but he has not worn a dress yet.

The first year I just put on red tutu over a red tank top, but after awhile I felt like I was missing out on some fun, so the second year I actually went to Cross Dress for Less ((Ross)) and bought a dress. I tell you, that they only make the pretty dresses for the thin girls, and though I can fit into size 30 Levis, I do not fit into some of those pretty dresses.

It took me awhile to get over the fact that I was dress shopping and actually trying them on in the store right there in the aisle. The most embarrassing moment was when I was trying this dress on and this little old lady came up to me and asked if she could zip up the back for me, I had to tell her “Honey, this thing is not going to zip up” She laughed and said “And it is so pretty”.

So whatever dress you wear, you have to ride your bike in it, and Santa Maria is a small city, the first year, the Director of the LA Center told us this story; while she was in getting some coffee, she overheard a guy to say to another guy “Bill, you are not going to believe me, but I just saw a guy wearing a tutu, ride by on a bike”

So we ride out almost the same way we came into Santa Maria, our first rest stop is not even out of town yet, just a park on the outskirts, I guess we need time to check our dresses and make sure we can ride in them. But we all stop and take pictures of each other before we get going to far.

Then we head out of town and over hill and dale, to Casmalia, rest stop 2, and another fundraiser for their school, except this one they throw a dance party right there in the street. It is a hoot, and yes, even I danced last year.

After this rest stop, it is up a hill, and though it is relatively short it a bugger of a climb, but at the top, we are actually in Vandenburg Airforce Base (a back entrance), so sometimes, there are airman looking at all the guys in dresses riding their bikes.

At the top of this hill like the top of many hills, is a rider that brings an iPod, and a loud speaker, that rides up ahead, stops and dances for hours, to encourage you up that hill.

Ginger Brewlay is there too, and well as Mom & Dad, not my Mom & Dad, but a couple that lost their son to AIDS many years ago, and has been at every ride, every hill top and just express their love and gratefulness that people are doing something to spread awareness and stop the spread of AIDS. They like many others are a cherished part of the AIDS Lifecycle Community.

Anyway up that hill and down the other side, then it is up red ribbon hill, a long windy road. At the top, stop and look back – see you’re not the last. Laugh and ride on, soon it is time to stop for lunch, and then off again, it is short day only 43 miles so we are pretty much grouped together.

The ride this day is a relatively short day, 43 miles, so we get into camp early, and we relax, last year Cowboy and his Son showed up then, so we go out to our motel and then out to dinner. Then we go back to camp, to get pictures taken and see the talent show.

The talent show is not to be missed, these people have real talent, singers and dancers, however the highlight of this show is the people who have prepared a simple song or poem about someone that they have lost – the pain they still feel, and the closure that the ride has given them, the sense that they are no longer alone…

that this community understands and welcomes their grief with open arms.

Day 4 – Paso Robles to Santa Maria

2008-06-04T15:59:00.000-07:00

Getting up out of Paso Robles is nothing special the roads are all good, there usually isn’t too much wind that early in the morning, the climb isn’t that hard, slow and steady going. Rest stop just where it starts to get steep, we rest and try to avoid going on, for the Evil Twins are next

Ah, the Evil Twins, we call them the “Evil Twins” because first of all there isn’t two of them, there are three, well maybe more than that I’ll let you know, but every time you think you have reached the top, you discover you haven’t.

That’s’ what makes them evil.

Once you finally reach the top, only short way to go and what do you know, there is a big open area where you can see the coast (on a clear day) and that is;

Halfway to LA

Halfway to Los Angeles - we joke that we made it halfway, might as well go on – I’m known for saying, “I’m over this ride, I think I’ll go back”

But we stop and take pictures, standing on rocks with the coast in the background – Long lines, everyone wants to get their picture taken, maybe this year I will actually get up on that rock myself.

Coffee trucks sometimes wait for us there –and fans that have brought us cookies and candy, it is really an unofficial rest stop.

After awhile it is long ride downhill, and I mean long, the speed you can get going is pretty scary, so I feather my brakes and take it easy. Sometimes there is a freaky side winds that can blow you about a bit. Once you reach the bottom, you head south, and that side wind if present is now a tail wind, so you can really fly.

Down the coast a bit is our second rest stop, last year it was Sailor Boys, nice, but as nice as the scenery is, we have miles to go before we rest, and the wind was blowing. So back on our bikes we go, heading south to Morro Bay. When you see the rock, we start heading inland; we are heading to the college at San Luis Obispo, where we have lunch. They have another fundraiser there that the college kids put on the supports AIDS Awareness & Prevention, on Campus is also a Memorial Grove.

After Lunch we head south & east to end up in Santa Maria. The roads tend to blur together after awhile, but after San Luis Obispo is where we get on the Highway 101 for awhile ((it is our second time really, we got on before Bradley (yesterday), but it were on the freeway for just for 500 feet)), and it is really scary when a semi goes traveling past you at seventy and there you are on a bicycle on the freeway, sure you are riding on the shoulder, but that shoulder has those bumps that are every 15 feet to wake up sleepy drivers, so cyclists try to ride in that 4 inch groove that is close to the edge of the pavement and the shoulder that is smooth.

After we get done with our few miles of freeway, we get back to the farmlands, we make a circuit of Santa Maria, and come in and get to camp.

Actually this day is longer than I’m telling you, it is our second longest day of the ride, and the last part of it is windy and dusty, we see Llamas and get terrible side winds. I hate this day, it just seems so long and you pray that a rest stop is soon. Once you actually get to rest stop 4, you are grateful, for that side wind turns into a tailwind. And though you have been on the bike for a long time, and are tired, that tail wind allows you to rest while riding.

Last year my brother came and picked me up before rest-stop 4. He came down to see the ride, and stopped and helped people fix their bikes, fix their flats, etc. After we checked in at camp (one must turn in your bike at the end of every day) he treated me to a motel room. I was so happy to get a shower, and to sleep in real bed.

We went to get dinner, and then watched TV for bit, then I fell asleep.

Day 3 – King City to Paso Robles

2008-06-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

Quadbuster…

That dreaded hill itself, one long hill, though if truth were told; it isn’t that long or that steep. It just seems that way.

We start out in King City, and in the past, the roads were terrible, full of potholes and the roughest road I’d ever been on. But that is supposed to be fixed this year (I’ll report back later) this road is so rough that we worry about hitting the holes wrong and falling over or even worse bending our wheels.

Once we safely get past all that and are on the road, I always manage to hit a sweet spot in my riding, this road we are on; is straight and level, so I slowly pick up speed, soon I am fly by people I have gotten to know on training rides and over the years. - This is where I have picked up a reputation for being faster than some of the friends that I normally ride with. These long straight stretches where I can push and let the awesome bike that my brother loaned me shine.

Too soon we are done with this road, and we turn off facing west towards the hill itself. The approach to the hill is naturally uphill, and the wind blows against us as well, as if it was Mount Doom, know we are coming to conquer it. We ride, trying to wear ourselves out on the approach, but the rollers at the base say to us, “Come conquer me” so we ride, using our energy, then a rest stop appears, and we stop and rest, refresh.

The hill comes next – it waist for us, silent, and you see a long line of riders inching their way up the hill.

Hundreds of riders stretched out single file, pedaling one leg after the other. Push pull, keep going, keep going, you can do it. Slower riders, dread the sound of a stronger rider behind them, thinking that they wish you were faster, so they don’t lose their rhythm.

If you are a stronger rider, you must pull out into the road to pass a slower rider. Immediately you hear the call “Car Back” which means you must back pull into the line of riders.

Three-fourths of the way up, is water, do you stop or keep going, it is tempting to stop, and the first year I did. The second year, I said, “This mountain is not going to get me to stop, all the way with no stopping is my goal”. So I kept going, and at the top; Ginger Brewlay and cheering crowds.

We stop and congratulate each other – and we can’t believe our ears when we hear that Ben Armstrong has done the hill ten times this very day to encourage people up it. And there he is, riding down it one more time to encourage another batch of riders up the hill.

After the top, we ride down the hill, the backside of Camp Hunter Liggett, after we are level or it seems like level we have many more straight miles of long roads, the kind I shine on. So I work the bike up to 25 miles an hour, and ride, I zoom past other riders who are happy with 18 miles an hour.

All too soon, once again we start up the small little hills, none too hard, but enough to work your average speed down to 14 or 15 again. The day heats up, we arrive at rest stop 2, it is in this little tiny town place of 3 buildings of which two are for sale. We rest and we look for shade, after awhile, we get on our bikes and head south again.

Soon we reach Bradley; Bradley is a small town, but people of Bradley make the most of the ride coming through their town. Their school sells hamburgers and hot dogs, it is their biggest fundraiser of the year, and we support them by buying our lunches from them – we also buy t-shirts and homemade buttons from them.

Last year in Paso Robles, we learned how much it means to them; a teacher from their school came and talked to us at dinner. The day we ride through their town pays for all of the school field trips to museums; it pays for all of their children partial college scholarships. It pays for all their art supplies and sports equipment. The teacher was so grateful, that she cried – and that made all of us cry.

After Bradley, we get back on the road, and we have more farmlands and open fields to ride until we get to town.

Rest stop 4 is not to be missed – typically rest stop 4 each day is the rest stop you don’t want to miss – It is usually the last stop of the day, and though each rest stop (every day) has a theme and the roadies are dressed up in costumes – Rest Stop 4 is usually the most festive.

Prom Night, Hugh Hefner Playmates, Sailors, Merman/maids under the Sea, Dante’s Inferno, Cowboys, Leather, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, etc etc.

After rest stop 4 the ride into Paso Robles is a series of rollers that I just love. I can get some nice speed, and rest on the down hills – We ride into town, in Paso Robles we camp at the fairgrounds, so we have a covered eating area, which is nice for a change, no wind and warmer. However we are still in tents, usually this is the town where people start going out to eat dinner, they are anxious to eat something different and to be served, instead of waiting in line.

After dinner, after any speakers, is the first of our shows, the roadies have a fashion show that is hilarious.

Now, off to bed

Tomorrow,

WE RIDE AGAIN

Day 2 – Santa Cruz to King City

2008-06-02T16:01:00.000-07:00

Yawn, Moan, God, I need to pee, what time is it?

3am, Argh, maybe if I lie here for a bit I will go back to sleep and I won’t have to get up to go pee.

Nope, I’m still awake, and I still need to pee, quick throw on some clothes, find your shoes and find a flashlight.

Quick turn on your outside tents lights so you can find your way back. My first year they were a gift, from a buddy, a little set of battery operated Christmas lights that were just 5 feet long, great for hanging on the outside of your tent. You would turn them on when you went to pee, so it was easer to find your tent on the way back from the porta-potties.

Now back to bed and in your sleeping bag, can you fall asleep? Wait what’s that noise, damn it the guy next door snoring, well you hope he is snoring. Okay get out your earplugs, pop them in and then sleep until 5 am.

Now it is time to get up and pee again, why, because you have been “hydrating” all day on the bike, so you have to pee all night. The first year, after a few days my tent mate called it my alarm clock. He’d say, “Don’t forget to set your alarm clock”

Now it is time for breakfast, you always have to decide if you want to put on your cycling clothes or head to breakfast in your regular clothes. If you out on your cycling clothes, you don’t have to change again, but you are a little bit cold until you get on the bike

So oatmeal and bacon, for me, sometimes I just can’t stand eggs, and on the ride I really find them disgusting. I need cheese and Salsa or Tabasco sauce to make eggs edible. So I’m just happy with lots of cereal.

Now back to the tent, back your bag, take down your tent and drag everything over to the trucks, are you still hungry, you can eat again if you are. I usually go back for more bacon and a banana; maybe some hot chocolate, really just a reason to not get on the bike.

Now it is time to go the bikes, check your air pressure, and pull off your seat cover, (shower cap otherwise you start with a wet butt) reset your mileage, and then go!

Our longest day, “The Century”, 105 miles actually, for some riders it is the first time that they have ridden more than 100 miles in a day.

But that isn’t what I think about as I do this day’s ride, this is hometown area. My Army days, grandparents & family, this is what I think about.

We ride from Santa Cruz to King City, and we go inland, skirt the coast near Seaside, then head towards Salinas. I went to basic training at Ford Ord, I also spent two years there later, every town we ride through I remember old times and old faces. We stop for artichokes, just like I used to before I would head to San Jose for the weekend.

I was born in Salinas, which is where we spend lunch, my grandparents lived in Gonzales, and as we ride the road that leads almost to Gonzales, and then turn off right before we get there I wonder is this the year I get off the road and go see it again?

We ride through fields, mostly strawberries now, potatoes and lettuce when my Grandma worked in the fields. I often wonder as I ride, are these the fields my grandmother worked in? Was she as bent over as some of these workers seem now?

When I visited my grandparents in the summer, we often would go to visit someone who owned or was the manager of a farm. I think about that as I travel by farms that look familiar. We also went to the junkyard, you could in those days, you never knew what Grandpa would find useful.

My grandfather was a garage-shop inventor; he solved many problems, using left over items. A lathe machine made out of an old sewing machine. A drill-press made out of something just as strange. Automatic screen door closers, 1 lever that would close all the screens on the patio at once, tables that would convert into chairs. He even figured out how to make the milk machine labeler stop if it ran out of labels.

We would have been rich if he had thought of patenting some of his ideas. But that doesn’t matter, it is family that I think about. How much I love them and how much they mean to me.

Soon though we are past all that, and it becomes another long ride.

Soon we reach the bridge, the bridge that if you’re early enough, you strip off all your clothes and jump naked into the water. (In years past it has always been warm enough, I hope so again) If you’re lucky no one will get a picture of your balding head from up above.

After you cool off, head back to shore and try to get your clothes on without getting any sand between your shorts and your riding parts.

Now up that hill, for the Cookie Lady is at the top, she started cooking 3 months ago to have enough cookies for all you riders. And you mustn’t disappoint her. Chocolate Chip, oatmeal & raisin, peanut butter too.

Where are we now I could not tell you, but somewhere between Salinas and King City, south of Soledad, on the back roads, farmland.

Rest Stop 3 is set up at a Mission, ice cold pops, and our regular snacks is all set up.

But this ride is about those we have lost to AIDS, so the Mission is setup as a sanctuary where the altar is covered with a white cloth where you can write something about your loved ones, sometimes someone breaks down, and hugs are tendered. It is a quiet time, time for reflection. Everyone coming out of the Mission is quiet, and reflective, and soon we are back on our bikes.

We ride on, more farmlands and fields, and finally we get to King City.

Tent City again, King City is usually windy so I hope you brought your tent pegs.

Shower, eat, sleep

Tomorrow…

WE RIDE AGAIN

Day 1 – San Francisco to Santa Cruz

2008-06-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

You wake up wondering, did I set the alarm clock, what if I oversleep? What if I’m late?

Now finally, you are at day 1 – Ride Out. The Day you have been training for months

Finish stuffing everything into your bag, that same bag that you have packed 4 or 5 times, checking each time to see if you forgot something.

Well it’s too late now, what is in your bag that’s it, maybe you can stop on your ride through town somewhere to get that thing you are missing.

Damn it’s early (and cold)

Turn your bag into the truck, they will ask you;

Have your helmet, windbreaker, gloves, sun-block, sunglasses, shoes?

Once it’s on this truck, you are not going to see it again until you ride in Santa Cruz.

Now go check on your bike, what they won’t let you visit your bike? ARGH… But it’s okay everything is fine, breathe, relax, they will let you in a second, its opening ceremony time.

First year I did it, hot as hell in the that room with 1000 people inside, that all there is room for, but we have another 800 riders in the halls outside. Last year, 1000 people in the hall, with 1200 people outside, this year it will be 1000 people inside with 1500 riders in the halls outside, and we are not counting the people who came to see you off or the roadies. Its is just too hot and crowded in there for me, I wait outside.

After the ceremonies, we are released to our bikes, and we start to line up, check our tires, our gear, make sure our helmets and gloves are all on, fix that last minute flat, and reset your mileage.

Start to shuffle out, Positive Pedalers go first, look for your friends in the crowd, time to stop and take a picture? Quick, get on the bike, but don’t clip in, you’re not moving fast enough.

Finally you make it to the street, and you take a deep breath and you start out. Single file? Hah! Not for a few block anyway, we are too many for single file, but we try.

Watch out, we are still going to slow too clip in, watch for people falling over.

Finally, a few streets down (actually up), we are climbing a hill, but it is so slow and so slight you don’t notice, you are too busy checking out the cops (well I am). You yell “thanks” for them being here, for being out here, for supporting the ride. They are sitting directing traffic and it is cold, you are moving.

Thank the nice (hunky) policeman.

We finally get in single file, and slowly work our way out to the Great Highway (actually its called Skyline Blvd at this point) and we start on our first real hill, just a little ways after reaching the crest is our first rest stop.

First year, just a rest stop, last year they had the riders all cover their helmets with a red helmet cover, at the first rest stop you could write the name of a loved one on the helmet cover and turn it in, they were going to be used at the closing ceremonies. This year?

After the rest stop, we really get on the way. We ride up Skyline Blvd, and ride until we reach almost reach Highway 280, we then take a left, then a right and skirt the highway, then we ride up to Crystal Springs.

This is our second rest stop. It’s usually clear, so we while we are stopped, take pictures.

Then back on the road, Highway 92 awaits.

The first year after reaching the top, we stayed on Highway 92 all the way to Half Moon Bay, it was slow going and traffic was at a standstill the bikes were going faster than the cars, sometimes when skirting a big truck it was a bit scary. Naturally the Semi’s would give you as much room as they could, but the yahoos in their hopped-up trucks would not move an inch. The second year instead of going to Half Moon Bay we climbed up Highway 84, ten miles of sloped uphill, not a hard climb, but a long climb that seems to go on forever. (And ever and ever, we were not prepared, it wore out a lot of us, I had problems with my knee, later I found out it was because I had not been stretching my quads enough.)

After reaching the top, we take this amazing curving road that leads to the coast and comes out at San Gregorio.

What way are we going this year, no one will tell us.

After reaching Half Moon Bay, people would stop for coffee, and then get on Highway 1 heading south; we ride until San Gregorio Beach. There are lots of small hills, and amazing downhill’s, where you can get some amazing speed, but watch out for cars exiting the beaches, they don’t’ always see you.

SO SLOW DOWN, if you see cars on the right getting ready to pull out on the highway.

San Gregorio Beach was our lunch spot the last two years I assume it will be so again. Be careful where you place your bike sometimes there are sticker weeds that can give you a flat.

Lunch is packed lunches, usually turkey or chicken breast, Potato Chips, fruit, and the ever-present Gator-aide. We all look for friends to sit with, or if you can’t find anyone that you know, sit down with someone you don’t and make a friend.

Just a bit of sunshine there on the coast warms you up and makes lying down in the sun great, there is usually a little bit of breeze, so lying down is the only way to avoid that cooling factor.

After a bit of a rest, it’s back on the bike, and on your way to Santa Cruz. It is a beach side ride all the way until you get to town. Up rolling hills and long stretches of road. Usually the wind is with you, so it isn’t too bad of a ride.

Finally you arrive in Santa Cruz, we ride into town right on the main drag, oh not the beach Boardwalk, but the road that goes through town, it’s Highway 1, so now you are riding right next to cars and stopping for lights again, we start to bunch up and we wonder how much further to go?

After a while there are signs and people, turn this way and that, you are going in a big circle, but the second year you realize; it is to get to you camp the easiest way, the least amount of traffic.

Then you arrive, you weren’t first, and you’re not last. The fast riders are there, cheering you in, you made it. You are glad to get off that bike. You turn your bike in, and try to remember what the name of the row, is where you left your bike.

Then you see it for the first time…

A Sea of tents… all the same… (Well two different style tents) but 1250 tents all the same, set up on a grid, the only tent not up, is yours. Go get your tent and your bag, and then find your spot on the grid.

Set up your tent, and get your bags all set, find your clothes, and go to the shower vans, wait in line and then take your nice warm shower. Get all clean, and then go take your clothes back to your tent, if you forget anything at the shower tent, it can be found at lost and found later.

Now you are done, find your friends and go eat, eat twice if you feel like it. Stay in the covered eating areas to listen to camp announcements, good news, fun news, weather tomorrow, encouragement from the organizations we are riding for, words of thanks for various organizations that this ride helps.

Now it is time for bed, light and noise all done by 9 pm, for tomorrow…

WE RIDE AGAIN.

Day Zero Approaches

2008-05-29T16:02:00.000-07:00

Saturday - May 31st

Day Zero or Orientation Day, first turn in your bike then – you did bring your bike? Now look lost and glassy eyed, get in line somewhere - they check you in and tell you stuff – like where you have to go next, and did you bring your Orientation ticket? If not go to another line and pick that up.

This list tells you what you have to complete, in order to ride.

Turn in your last minute pledges, pick up incentives if you have earned any, and fill out any forms you might have missed such as your medical waiver.

View the safety video, get your wrist band, this lets you proceed to tent assignment, if you have a tent buddy, look for him and then sign up together, get your handy dandy chain with your tent number and row assignment, and save your other tag for your tent, when you pick that up at the end of day 1.

It actually doesn’t take too long, but all the people, line here and line there, a makes a bit overwhelming. There are riders & roadies all checking in, all getting their tent assignments and greeting friends, hugs and kisses traded.

After 4 hours, yes 4 hours, it is all done. Then you can go home or to your hotel. Don’t stay up too late, but if you do, it doesn’t matter, most people don’t sleep that well anyway.

Ready to ride

2008-05-20T16:17:00.000-07:00

I'm all packed, ~~just waiting for a new pair of red cycling shorts to come in...~~

My brass discs are in as well, this year I had brass discs engraved for friends and donors that wished to remember someone.

I will wear these every mile of the ride and then mail them to my friends / donors.

I'm getting excited

The last ride

2008-05-19T16:15:00.000-07:00

The last long ride

The last long ride before we get on our bikes and head to Los Angeles…

95 miles

The Golden Gate Bridge

Camino Alto Hill

Whites Hill

Nicasio Hill

Alps de Fromage (the Petaluma Cheese Factory Hill)

Marshall Wall

Olema Hill

White’s Hill

Camino Alto

Sausalito Hill

The Golden Gate Bridge

Nine Hills, and the Golden Gate Bridge

It was actually a good ride, I wasn’t that tired at the end, I did not push myself that hard, I just had a nice ride with my friends.

Every year, for fun, we have a theme, we are all riding with an action figure cable tied to the tops of our helmets, and we are going to call ourselves

“The League of Super Heroes “.

Mine will be Green Lantern, Emily is Wonder Woman, Beau well he wants a super hero that matches his bike which is blue and orange, so maybe I will have to paint one for him, and John, says Black or Red will do fine, I have a Superman in all Black so that is easy.

I forgot my camera, (I got up at 4 am to do this ride) so no pictures. It was cold as hell, when we started, and then it got hot, cold once again when we got to the top pf Marshall Wall, and the hot again, then freezing when we got back to the bridge. So all day it was on with the arm warmers and off again.

Yes I was tired, and I am so thankful that Cowboy had made dinner and it was waiting for me when I got home.

Ride YOUR ride

2008-05-14T16:17:00.000-07:00

We ride to raise money to help defeat this disease we call AIDS, but the ride itself, does not last for just 7 days.

There is training to do and volunteers that put lots of effort into making sure that everyone arrives safe and in good spirits, the ride itself is very emotional, for the riders the roadies and everyone connected with the ride.

I was blessed with this a copy of this email, from one of my fellow training ride leaders to his first year riders, and I just had to share it with you. If you are able, please follow the link and make a donation

There is a reason we say "Don't worry about riding EVERY mile, but rather riding every mile you CAN."

There are a host of reasons even the best of riders may not be able to finish a ride -- exhaustion, injury, dehydration, bonking, a broken wheel, torrential downpour, an emergency calling him away, a proposal from John Stamos, -- and it is frustrating to have to admit to ourselves we may have to stop for the day.

But it is the reason that you SET out to ride in the first place that really counts and counts far more, and that reason endures no matter what happens out on the route.

That reason is personal and only yours, and it will ride with you every mile you ride, and will rest with you even for the miles you can't.

Ride every mile you can, and when you can't ride anymore, remember the reason you ride and love yourself enough to take a deep breath and say "perhaps tomorrow."

"This is a ride not a race."

We say that ALL the frikkin' time, and usually we think of it as meaning we shouldn't kill ourselves attempting to out-speed one another on the route.

While that's true, I think there's another struggle we often have, not necessarily in comparing our speed with other riders', but in comparing ourselves as complete riders or even worthy people against one another.

It's hard not to do.

My first year, I found myself feeling ashamed of being outpaced by others, watching comrades I'd started training with become fast and strong and soon I'd never see them until the end of the ride, where they'd arrived long before I did and with more ease and gusto.

I remember almost hurting myself by pushing way too hard in order to keep up lest my vanity be bruised.

But the entire training process is also not a race, the whole experience is a personal ride of sorts.

We may start training with someone, then watch her develop faster as she takes spin classes or is able to make room in her schedule for extra training, or her tax return allows her to afford an amazingly lighter and faster bike, or her years of long-distance running pay off in learning a new endurance sport. That is HER ride.

On the other hand, my work life may explode during the winter months, a family tragedy forces me to miss weeks of training, I get lingering bronchitis that won't let me get on the bike for a month at a time, my bike is stolen and I have to wait a couple of paydays until I can afford a new one, I have an accident and the doctor says it will be six weeks until I can ride again if at all... and mean while I watch other new riders grow and develop while I wonder if I'll ever be able to make it at all.

But this is MY ride.

Perhaps it's in our culture to compare ourselves, but as soon as we hear pride or vanity complain that we fall short in comparison with another rider, or if we notice we are pushing ourselves dangerously hard to stay apace of someone who is stronger or faster than we are for whatever reason...

STOP… Breathe…

This Ride of ours, the Ride-with-a-capital-R, may be for all of us and for those we dream to help; but once you are in the saddle it is your ride-with-a-little-r, and it is for nobody else but your own wee self.

Nobody else is straining against your own beliefs and doubts for you to train.

Nobody else is juggling all your needs and responsibilities.

Nobody else has your constellation of aches and conditions and strengths and challenges.

Nobody else has made the commitment you have made for the reason you made it and against the odds you face.

Out on the road, nobody else is pressing that pedal for you.

Ride YOUR ride.

Do not try to ride anyone else's.

Alrighty then, my lovelies. I wish you all a wonderful May and I hope you're getting good and excited about your Ride. Perhaps I'll see you on another training ride, or at Orientation, or sometime on the road or in camp.

Feel free to stop me and let me know how your ride is going, how you're liking camp life, how you feel your training helped or hindered, what you think of my scruples in forcing you to ride such wicked hills and through such icky winds and rain, what you think of my hair, whatever.

Until then, good luck and good riding!

Mettle to the pedal,

kurt

Mother’s Day -

2008-05-13T16:19:00.000-07:00

People have many different relationships, and there is no relationship that is more different and yet the same more the same than the relationship we have with our mothers.

We also have more expectations of what the relationship should be, some mothers are more than able to rise to the occasion and love their children with all their hearts, and some mothers, well, are a little bit lacking.

I have had three mothers, my biological mother, Step-mom 1 and Step-Mom 2.

I also have people that have acted like a mother to me; I especially like to remember the Beaumans, and her mother “Grandma Tucker”.

My Biological mother I never knew very well, she had Schizophrenia, and my father had to have her committed when I was about 3-4. I don’t remember her very well. She died of cancer about 8 years ago, and I was able to connect with her for a brief time, and get a glimpse of something wonderful. My older brothers and sisters had a more complicated time with her death than I did. They both knew her better and also had some complications that related to her disease.

Step mom 1, I think of her as my mom, she was there since I was about 6 or 7 maybe 8, I’m not sure. We had a complicated relationship; my older brothers and sisters had more difficulty, maybe because she was replacing their mother, maybe just because of who she was.

She was a hypocrite in many ways, so I had difficulty with that. But I thought of her as my mother, you make allowances. Her birthday is today; she has been dead for 9 years now. She was the one that when I was out shopping used to always think “she’d like this”

She was the one I originally told I was gay, she was the mom that I would go over to their house and mow their lawn on Saturdays, and then sit and drink a jug of wine with.

One of her favorite lines was, "OH, I heard a joke that will just cook your balls" I'd say " Mom, that hurts just thinking about it."

I’d tell her as much as I could about my life (while still in the closet), She was the one that when asked about my view on gays in the military, told her “Everyone has the right to die for their country”.

She would remember to call on my birthday, and call and give me hell if I did not call at least every two weeks, I think she also told dad when it was one of his kids birthdays.

Step mom 2, (my dad’s current wife) is a lot like step-mom #1, loud, opinionated, hard to always get along with. But she provides my dad with something that he needs, Companionship, Care, Love. So we honor her for that, Her birthday is the 15th of this month.

My mom & dad used to fall asleep at 8 pm, so I ‘d go out and visit the Beaumans, I ‘d sit and play cards with them, watch TV with them, it was sorta like they were my family. They were the family that asked me what I wanted to do in life, and I went camping with. At some point we moved away, and then I lost contact with them.

Mothers, they are what they are, I hope that however your mother turned out for you, that you are able to cherish her, forgive her if you found her lacking and learned to embrace her for what she is.

Jonathon Pon Ride - part 3

2008-05-12T16:20:00.000-07:00

It is early morning, and we need to get started, but the fog has not lifted so we are reluctant to start.

The climb out of the campground isn’t really a climb but it is up a gravel drive, so I walk my bike up (I’m so not interested in falling on gravel).

For some reason that I don’t remember now, I stop and the others go on, so after a bit when I finally get started, I’m alone in the early morning mist. It is quiet and magical, only the bitter cold breaks the moment.

I hurry now, knowing the faster I go the sooner I will warm up. I come to the bridge that crosses the river and soon the highway that leads to the coast. I look both ways then cross, and head towards the coast, soon I fall into a rhythm and I soon catch another rider and another. I see others who have stopped to take pictures of a patch of sunlight, like it is an alien thing. I wave and go on, I to have stopped for pictures like this, but I’m finally warm, and don’t want to stop yet.

We reach the junction of the River and the Ocean and turn south. We start our first climb of the day, it is a relatively easy climb not too long, not too steep, we are still slow, for we suspect we have many hills to climb before the day is done.

Riding along the coast it a ride of pleasure, (especially if the wind is at your back)

Rolling hills, where if you can gage the angles right, you push yourself picking up speed to coast your way up (or not slow to a crawl) most of the other side, just leaving you a little amount of hill, where if you push, you can make it to the top and you aren’t worn out.

There are many places to pull over and enjoy the scenery between Jenner & Bodega Bay, but not any “Towns” so Bodega Bay is the first rest stop, where some of the riders stop for coffee, I keep going, I heard through the grapevine that the wind will be blowing against us as the day goes by, so I want to get as many miles under my belt before it does.

So I ride & ride until I get to Valley Ford, our second official rest stop. Half of our riders are there; so I stop and socialize for a while, refill my water bottles and Camelback. Before long the sweep (yes the sweep), is coming along, so we get back on the road. Valley Ford is where the Sweep changes.

(The 1st sweep my friend Beau is done with his duties so we ride together. The 2nd shift sweeps has been lounging in chairs by the side of the road, you would think by looking at them that they are at the beach.)

We ride, like the wind (for the wind is at our backs) and soon we are in Tomales where we have coffee, and then we are off to Point Reyes Station, where lunch is being served.

Now lunch is served in a deli, so we actually get to sit down in a padded booth. Very nice and cushy on our bottoms.

Then back on the road, some of the slower riders have sagged now, so we are now getting to be the tail end of the riders (or it seems that way)

So we ride back to Samuel P Taylor Park and take the bike trail though the park, it is great ride, but don’t do it when it been muddy.

When we get to the end of the trail, we discover that one of our riders has a shoe that refuses to unclip. So we have to stop and he takes of his show while it is still clipped in, can’t get it undone, so we sag him.

We ride on, at this point we are in Lagunitas, stop for a bathroom break and then back over White’s Hill and into Fairfax. Can you say ICE CREAM, I just have a taste of Beau’s “delicious” – Maybe after the ride, after all I have to fit in my red dress.

We ride on, now the only hill we have left is Camino Alto, so up that hill , down the other side and we are done. We coast into Mill Valley, retrieve our bags and say good bye

Another Training ride is done

Jonathon Pon Ride - Part 2

2008-05-07T16:21:00.000-07:00

We arrive at Camp, and we start to setup our tents. What is different from the RIDE and this ride is that on the RIDE, the tents are provided by the RIDE.

So on the RIDE you see a sea of tents all exactly the same size and color. This camp we provided our own tents. I brought our tent, which is a well… it is, a very large tent, you can stand up on the middle and it has two separate bedrooms, including privacy curtains.

Well everyone thought it was very humorous, so they started calling my tent City Hall, and asking if they could have tours.

They also gave it a nickname of Taj M’Tent. Later on, when we were told that we did not have the secured place for bikes, and that they would have to put our bikes by our tents, I just rolled our bikes into my tent, and then zipped up the privacy screen. (My friend Peter stayed in the tent with me)

Then it was time for dinner, we had Chicken marinated in artichoke hearts and cut–up baked potatoes, with some kind of pasta salad and a regular salad as well, I got drafted to help serve so that the line would go faster. Actually that was kind of fun, it allowed me to flirt with the men that I had been too shy to flirt with earlier.

After dinner, we had entertainment down by the campfire. It was provide by my friend Mark, who was going to ride, but his brand new bike broke (while riding it) and he broke his ribs, anyway he told the story while singing. He also played the accordion and banjo

Then it was off to bed, after riding 75 miles on a bike, you tend to be tired, and the next morning we were going to get up and go back.

The next morning, well my mornings always start with having to pee, so I lie in my sleeping bag until, I just have to get up, I throw some clothes on and then walk to the restroom, then it is back to bed to try to get back to sleep until it is time to really get up.

In camp I lie in bed until I think that I better get up or I will be the last one tearing their tent down, in reality, I’m about in the middle. Because the tent is so big, we have the luxury of being able to pack our bags in the dryness of the tent, with out getting in each other’s way.

The tent came down easily, and since our bikes were in the tent, our bikes did not have any early morning dew on them. After a brief breakfast, oatmeal and warm Croissants (I had three) no eggs, sometimes I just can’t stand eggs.

Then it was time for another safety speech, a review of the route, and on the road.

More later

Jonathan Pon Ride - part 1

2008-05-05T16:23:00.000-07:00

The moon was just a sliver in the sky, barely visible through the mist of early morning.

The highway had not yet started to roar with the hum of people starting their day, a lone car here and there.

My bike was loaded along with a tent, sleeping bag, and a change of clothes

I was on my way, another ride to start in a few hours, the two day 150 mile, “JONATHAN PON” memorial ride.

The ride starts at the south end of Mill Valley (where we can park and leave our cars overnight), and goes to Duncan Mills.

I was the first one there, I parked my car, and soon the others started to arrive.

First one, then another, and then many more, we unload our cars and get our biking shoes on. Then we started giving hugs to those we know and introducing ourselves to new friends. We stretch and complain about the cold. We wait for the sun, we log in and sign insurance waivers, we chatter some more. We load up the moving truck; we check the air pressure in our tires and fix any last minute flats.

Soon it is time for the safety speech, we introduce our training ride leaders, and then we are off. I get a plum spot, sweep of the first leg. Though it means I will be behind everyone on this first leg, it also means that when my duties are done, I can ride as fast as I like.

Before we know it we are at the base of Camino Alto and doing the climb. A rider is up ahead, and we stop to help fix his flat. The rest does wonders and the rest of the hill is no problem, fastest I’ve ever been up it.

Then down the hill and into Fairfax (through Ross, San Anselmo, etc). We regroup, get some coffee, chat for a bit and then we (the sweeps) get our people on the road and up White’s Hill we go.

At the top, our duties are done and we hand over the sweep duties to the TRLs waiting at the top. They brought cowbells and have been shouting words of encouragement to all the riders riding past them (White’s Hill is a longer climb than any single hill we do on the ride).

We zoom down the hill, and Donald (my sweep partner) flies past me, But I catch him on the long straight portion, and we ride this portion as fast as we can, until we need to turn and start our climb up Nicasio Hill. Donald stays with me during the climb, and we chat while climbing.

Once we reach the top, he is off, and I behind him, he isn’t listening when I yell out “car back!” and a car comes too close to him for my comfort, but he is fine ((I tend to ride more cautiously than some others))

We get to Nicasio and take a brief break, chat with some other riders who are taking a break as well. We get on the road, and head down skirting the edge of the Nicasio Reservoir and get to the base of the “Alps de Fromage” (the road to the Petaluma Cheese Factory).

Donald soon leaves me, and I ride up the hill, staying with some other slower riders. We eventually reach the top and then we ride into the Cheese Factory, another water break.

I meet up with some friends, and make some new ones. We ride together up (yes another hill) to the top of “D-Street- Petaluma Hill” and then we ride / coast down into Petaluma for lunch.

It is a nice day and we have lunch in the park. For some reason I catch the eye of Ginger Brewlay, and next thing I know she/ he has his arms around me, and I am blushing. I get on my bike before things get too embarrassing and I ride off.

We ride out to Valley Ford, and this is against the wind, so it is slow and steady, the wind is not that bad, so we bitch to each other when we reach Valley Ford, but we are not dead tired.

After a short break, we get on the road, and we go around the bend, now the wind is at our backs and we ride a short ways to Freestone, there is a nice bakery here, we rest munch and sit in the sun, for here we are sheltered from the wind.

Now we have a ride to Occidental, one last climb, and then a nice long gradually dropping rolling curve of a road into camp.

MORE LATER

this too shall pass

2008-04-30T16:24:00.000-07:00

It’s the last day of April, so quick - get a post in before the whole month has gone away.

To tell you the truth, I have not felt like posting, every once in awhile I just feel like I’m done with it.

I mean what is the reason I even do it?

Then I remember, I do it for me, it doesn’t matter if people make comments, though I love it if they do.

It is not about what people out “there” think, it is what is going on in my head.

Sometimes I don’t have the energy to write it down, don’t even know if I want to share it.

It is awfully revealing, and I am a very private person, even if you already know too much about me.

Sometimes, I think, that people aren’t even really interested, I mean how many times has someone asked you how your day was, and you start to tell them, and they get “that look”, and you know that you are boring them to death.

Once again you forgot, “They were just being polite” (Actually, sometimes it is just not the right place or time – like a party)

Sometimes I get down on myself, I’m getting older, the body does not respond the way it used to, it takes awhile to get over being sick or getting over some of the work of training rides.

Sometimes, I just don’t feel like going to the gym again, I want to go shopping! And yes to tell you the truth, mostly I want to go and buy bike parts, or start saving for my very own bike.

What? Bike Parts? I though you were not one of those bike freaks, you say to me?

It’s starting to get to me, I want to get out of this office and go for a bike ride ((as soon as the wind dies down))

I wish I could afford to take some time off and just go for some rides, stop at a coffee stop, sit and drink coffee and then get back on the bike and go again.

-

Its funny how we get depressed sometimes.

Last week I went to bike event and I was saying goodbye to some friends of mine ((Sonoma County Riders)) and this lady whispers in my ear, “ When you came in this room, after the ride, I heard a couple of gasps, Those guys ( she pointed all around her) think you are the handsomest guy in the room”

I blushed, and said “Ah Shucks”, and then I spend the rest of this week, thinking, well I don’t have as much muscles as that guy, my face isn’t as handsome as that guy. I’m not as thin as that guy.

Well I have to laugh at myself, because, for I should be happy that I was perceived that way, it doesn’t make me better or worse than anyone else.

It just is. For that moment, relish it, for life changes, and this moment too shall pass. ((Once upon a time there was a King who said to his advisors “ make me something that will make me sad when I am happy and happy when I am sad, or I shall know that all my advisors are fools and I will kill you all – and the advisors make him a ring that was engraved inside with the words “This too shall pass”))

Day of the Ride

2008-04-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

Not "the ride" but a ride to simulate a day on the ride. 465 Riders, 81 miles, it was a ride from Golden Gate Park to the Petaluma Cheese Factory and back.

We start out in a big group, with the riders being released about 20 at a time, and then we ride through the park, down Arguello through town then through the Presido where we then cross over the Golden Gate bridge, then it is our usual down through Sausalito, over Camino Alto, up White's Hill and then right to go up to Nicasio, and then another right to go up the hill to the Cheese factory.

We have Lunch there and then we turn around and ride back down the hill, go around the reservoir and then take Sir Francis Drake back to Fairfax, going over White's hill one more time

Stop for a minute then head on back over Camino Alto, and then down through Sasualito again and then up that hill to the bridge.

I only took 1 picture that wasn't of friends, this was going out through the Presidio at the top of a small hill.

Alcatraz, and the Dome of the Palace of Fine Arts...

It was a nice ride, I didn't have any cramps, however I didn't really push myself, still it was nice not to have any, gives me hope for the long ride, just 1 month away

However, after getting done with the ride, I ate something that night that gave me food poisoning and I have been sick ever since.

I'm much better now, but still trying to watch what I eat, normally I have a cast iron stomach, and can eat anything.

The ride route

2008-04-24T17:20:00.000-07:00

Well, this was last year's ride, and we are probably not going to go up Skyline this year, but it is mostly the same as last year I think!

Terrain 4

2008-04-21T17:23:00.000-07:00

Big Hills and lots of them this weekend, but I forgot my camera, so instead I will post pictures from my last two rides, which I don't think I posted.

This ride was Marshall Wall, lots of hill but not as high as what we did this weekend, this was from Novato to Tomales & back

- -

This ride was the ride I called the hell ride - SF to Woodside & back - up hill and against the wind all the way

I was dead, beat exhausted when I came back, I wanted to quit, but with the help of my friend Beau, I made all the way.

Where is Waldo?

2008-04-21T17:22:00.000-07:00

Long time, no post,

I know, I know – I have no Internet access at work and most of the time, when I get home, I’m tired of sitting at a computer and typing.

TRAINING RIDES, I have been doing one every Saturday, mostly Sonoma County Rides, but since I was at my Dad’s and dropped the propane tank on my foot, it has been challenging. I guess it threw everything out of whack, which made it a lot more work to ride the bike.

But, I think I’m in better shape for it (( I sure hope so)), also, I have not felt like going to the gym very much, only two days a week, but I am down to 182 pounds. YEAH!

It is only about six weeks to the ride now, and I’m starting to get excited.

Next weekend is the SF Bay Area’s Day of Ride. That is simulated day of the actual ride, supported with Rest Stops and sweep vehicles, and a little party at the end.

The weekend after that is the Jonathan Pon Memorial Ride, which is a two day supported ride, we ride to the Russian River, campout at a camp-sites in tents and then return the next day.

to hell and back

2008-04-07T16:28:00.000-07:00

It was the ride from hell

Or the ride to hell.

Hell, it was one Hell of a ride.

Oh it didn’t start out that way, it was a beautiful day, the Sun was shining, not a cloud in the sky.

And the riders were all experienced riders, well people that I had been on ride before, no brand new riders.

I was asked to be a training ride leader because one of the scheduled leaders went to the wrong location. ((McClaren Lodge, which is further, down the ride))

I had my BUHC ((Butt Ugly Helmet Cover)) with me, so I said sure, and then we were off.

First thing my speedometer wasn’t working, so I kept stopping to fiddle with it, so next thing I knew the sweep ((a training ride leader rides last)) had caught up with me. So I rode with him for while, next thing I know we are riding up this hill, a gentle hill and the two riders in front of us are riding really slow, so slow that I’m thinking “okay at this speed its going to takes us 10 hours to do this ride”

Beau says to me, “If they don’t speed up I will say something to them”

Well finally they get into the rhythm and there’ off, and we would catch up with the others, but while we are riding on the Great Highway heading south, we manage to hit every red light. (Its windy and we are on the coast, but we are headed south, so it’s blowing our direction)

We finally get off the coast and we get on Skyline Blvd Highway 35, and at the top of this little hill one of our riders has a flat (I had left Beau behind) so I stop and help him fix his flat, we have problems so finally I give him one of my tires, his new tires won’t take any air for some reason.

Beau catches up with us. Meanwhile at the top of this hill it is so darn cold and windy that I’m doing pushups to keep warm. Okay the tire is fixed and we are off again.

I ride up the hill and catch up with Peter (who is waiting along the route at place that is easy to miss) He rides ahead and I wait for the rest to catch up with me.

We are now riding on a bike path, one I hadn’t been on before, and it was beautiful. Nice winding paths with just perfect curves. Along side the northern part of Crystal Springs Reservoir I had never seen this before. It was a great ride, and I never noticed that we were going downhill and the wind was behind us all the way.
All the way to Woodside, not even thinking someday we are going to go back against the wind

Woodside is where we had lunch. Nice sunny place for lunch, but the market was so busy I didn’t wait to have my usual Tuna Salad sandwich; I just got a pre-made one off the shelf. Some Club sandwich thing, it was all right.

Then it was time to get back on the bike and ride back home. And what a ride it was, against the wind, slow up hill. One never even noticed that you were going down hill when we going down hill, it was just a slow gradual down-slope, one that against the wind, sure tired me out.

Oh I did fine until we got about 10 miles out, I started getting cramps, not enough electrolytes, not enough water, too many days limping around after I dropped that Propane tank on my foot.

I wanted to quit, and Beau even volunteered to go back and get his car and come get me, but I stayed the course and made back with Beau with me all the way.

When we got back and signed in, Beau was discouraged because 75 % of the riders had left comments that this ride “was a ride from hell” that they hated it and would never do it again.

I told Beau, “Yes it was a ride from hell, But we all made it and we will all be stronger for it.” ((I was so tired yesterday I didn’t even turn on my computer))

away

2008-03-28T17:24:00.000-07:00

I'm off to Palm Springs for a long weekend... do some maintenance for the Dad and stepmom #2

It should an interesting weekend, spending some time with Dad and step-mom, an Ex (who lives in Palm Springs has a birthday) My Mom ((she was mom since I was 6 years old)) (step-mom #1) died nine years ago this weekend, and some party-time in boystown, Also a visit with my brother and his lover.

Cant fit a ride in, but I'm starting to miss the bike, (help! I think it is starting to become a way of life)

Got to finish my donation letters this weekend as well and get those out, I'm hoping to raise 5,000.oo this year -

Well I think thats it, hope to take some good pictures - talk to you all soon